Dreamin' of revelry

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

It's an intense desire that overcomes everything else in my life.

I didn't choose to go out from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. on a Thursday night. I don't wear Depends.

Typical watch the Cavs lose on a Thursday night, watch an episode of "Law and Order," drink two Miller Lites (bottles), drive to the ATM, get shot down on a request for a ride downtown, cab downtown and wrap-up at The Lodge Bar. Typical.

My roommate, The Godfather, got home from his big night out at 9:04 p.m. or somewhere around that time. I went upstairs to take a shower and spend 22 minutes on my hair to make it look like I didn't spend any time on it. I'm going with the more business-like "blow dry" hair nowadays. You haven't noticed. I spent about four weeks making that decision.

Cavs, schmavs. For whatever reason, LeBron plays terribly on Thursday night games on TNT. He's played two bad games this season (Jan. 15 at Chicago, Jan. 29 at Orlando) and they've both come on Thursday nights. The third and fourth quarter of last night's game was the worst I've seen him play in three years. One bad half every three years? I'll take it.

I'll take her too.


I don't even know how to start talking about her except she exceeds every expectation I didn't have. How the fuck aren't you at The Lodge Bar on Thursday nights in Columbus?? It's seriously HOT COLLEGE GIRLS NIGHT. That's at least what NJAG called it when she asked me to join The Godfather and her for dinner at Club 185. I said "no" for the 417th consecutive time.

There's that bartender at Hendoc's that is flat-out sex. Sex is short for sexy there. Her name is Molly. The bartender. I've always debated what's more attractive. Sexy or hot? When I say debated, I mean "think about in the shower before work and mostly on the fun Friday-night-before-you-go-out shower."

You could have counted me firmly in the "sexy" category before last night. I am not at all sexy. I wear two pairs of jeans and really pale skin. I also have some hair on my back. I mean I just rooted for sexy in the Sexy vs. Hot competition.

Then I saw her.


I had checked her out on Tempe 12 and Campus Girls before like the rest of you. She looked good. I hadn't seen her in person. She's 21. She's one of 45,643,123 girls on the Internet that look good in a bikini.

She walked into The Lodge Bar last night and flat-out blew me away. We said no words to each other and she never looked my way once. Although I say "that is the hottest girl I've ever seen" at least six times a week (twice already today), I said this last night without even thinking to no one in particular.

Obviously she talked to the dude in the flat-brimmed Detroit Tigers hat pulled down to his eye lashes. He also rocked the tight HOODED long sleeve T-shirt.

This chick was so hot I noticed her EYE LASHES. He didn't. He couldn't have seen anything under that hat.

Detroit, what? Who are you?

I now choose hot over sexy because hot requires you to do less work and as you know I look for the easiest-possible-way-to-do-things at all times. It's not like I went home and whacked it to her Facebook page or anything.


Went out alone because no one else would ever go to The Lodge Bar and few (if any) of my friends stay out past 10 p.m. the Truth was out of town or else he would have come with me and talked about something I had little interest in paying attention.

I also saw this girl I hooked up with a few times. She (obviously) tried to ignore me and walked far away from me when she noticed who I was. I didn't feel like reminding her that she once unbuckled my belt in her dorm room. She looked sexy-hot in a leather jacket-type thing with a popped-collar-type deal.

I had nine beers and tipped $5 on my $18 tab. I talked to a couple of friends who I hadn't seen in about a year. I don't know if I can call them friends. I usually at least talk to "friends" more than zero times in one year.

We've got five or six Thursday night HOT GIRLS NIGHTS at The Lodge Bar. I'll be at every one.