Long Duk Receipt

BY ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

"Receipts
karma
this crowd
depletes"
- mistertrendy, October 2006

This post would be a lot better if I owned a ruler. I've moved some stuff around on my desk looked for one all over, but haven't been able to find one ... or 12 inches in this case. That's what she said.

I do have some 8 1/2'' x 11'' paper, so that will have to do.

Can't say I pay attention to receipts. I know people who save them. Whatever. I've turned in a couple (maybe three) for expense reports in the past, but mostly, I either throw them away or eventually wash them in my jeans pockets. They're not meant to be washed. Like most of the hipsters drinking PBR at Cara Bar.

It's a well known fact that I don't go to the grocery store very often. It's newsworthy when I do. I guess I've been going a little more recently, but I don't think I've ever bought more than six items at the store. Maybe eight.

Keep in mind that on the receipts I'm about to describe, I never bought more than three items.

A receipt for Gay Kroger in the German Village is slightly more than 11 inches long. Giant Eagle German Village gives you a receipt that is a little longer than 10 inches. Subway (SOT - South of Thurman) prints out a receipt that's about nine inches. Is this necessary? I'm not Mr. Green or anything, but why do grocery stores go through all this trouble being environmentally conscious with the re-usable bags and such and then give you all this excess receiptedness.

I doubt an entire receipt has ever been read.

Like whoever penned this nugget on a Kroger receipt:

"Eligible Rx spending is included."

Sorry pal, I don't know that anyone (other than me) has ever read that sentence.

They say the 1980s were the decade of excess, I like to think receipts were about 25 years late to that party.