Drinking Season

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

Although it's a Tuesday, I don't think any date more epitomizes my life back in Columbus than October 28.

On Friday, Oct. 28, 2005, I met The Mayor and saw The Godfather for the first time in years. We chilled at a center high top and tradition began. The following year, we had the best "Cold and Dark" Ohio State football game in years and then went to that party on campus where everything happened. Earlier that morning, we had "Gray Hooded Sweatshirt Night" at Club 185 and the Truth later would chokeslam Dr. Z at The Godfather's former compound on Whittier.

It's really "drinking season" now that I think about it. Drinking Season runs from the last week of October through the first of the year. Really. Is there any other time during the year when so much considerable drinking goes on? I imagine The Mayor will love that I just named this "Drinking Season" and probably will say it many times.

Drinking Season ends when people stop drinking because of New Year's Resolutions, The 1 hibernates throughout winter, we "celebrate" Lent, the drab days of February, only to be rescued with the funness that is March.

Looking ahead we have Halloween Weekend, a trip to Chicago, Michigan Weekend, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, the Friday after Thanksgiving, a weekend trip to Indianapolis, my birthday weekend, the weekend before Christmas, Christmas parties, that week before New Year's where nobody works and New Year's Eve.

Deck the halls.

Not 'Short' on ugly old ladies

(Short North street walker taking a rest)

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

Whenever you hear someone say the word "misconception" they usually follow it with a positive anecdote about the subject of the "misconception."

(i.e. You know, a lot of people think that McDonald's in the German Village has shitty service and it takes 21 minutes in the drive-thru lane to get two hash browns and an orange juice. That's a misconception. The service is great! I went and it only took me nine minutes and no cars were in front of me!)

Monkey wrench time.

There's a misconception around Columbus that the Short North is the home of the good looking and well-to-do. Well, maybe there's a lot of well-to-do people.

Dude there are some serious trolls walking around that area of town. The Short North has far more weirdo-looking people than the German Village. Go eat lunch at Betty's in a window seat facing High Street at around noon.

Think about it ... do you ever see the homeless strange when eating at the Mohawk or Club 185? (OK, you do have a point about the High Beck. ... And that is on High Street so that kind of blows my entire argument.)

I have never seen so many 80-something homeless, looking old ladies. The males seemed to top out around the age of 73.

It's probably harder being a homeless woman, so I'm surprised they live longer.

At least they do in the Short North.

Home sweet home

Going to my hometown is a chore. I'm not really a fan. I love seeing my family, though. I've been a lot better about it lately. In 2007, I'd gander I only made it back to 429 Miles Off Broadway about six times. This year it's a bunch more. I'll probably go home 10-12 times. Still can't imagine setting foot in Mahoning County in September or October, however.

I don't get caught up in the whole, "home means going to your hometown" thing. I live in Columbus. My home is in the German Village. My home also is in Youngstown 44514. (SIDE NOTE: A friend of mine went to Virginia Tech and once said, "Tech is my home." In the annals of things said by my friends, it's found its place in the top 10 lamest phrases.)

But I'm glad when home comes to me. My mom is in town helping my sister out with some things for the wedding and around her new house. Also, I assume to feed me. I went over there last night for dinner and it was fantastic. I helped out a little did a lot of the work and finally felt like I gave back a little to one of the parents.

Last night was about as good as a Monday night in July can be for me. McGinley's not around so any chance of heading out for a few beers on a week night to a place not called Lindey's Patio is pretty much gone. I had a nice dinner, went for a jog around Schiller Park a few times, went to the grocery store (razors and soap) and watched the Tribe climb out of last place. Oh yeah!

Watching the Indians also is a chore. Game ended around 1 a.m.

If it rains anywhere in Franklin County, the center of the storm is directly above my home. The one in the German Village. I fucking swear to Christ, there's a giant LOUD THUNDERBOLT FACTORY above my house. Right around 3 a.m., the lightning came. Now that sounds like a line from a romance novel!

Rain only last about 10 or 15 minutes. Maybe 12 minutes. Didn't keep me up long. That line could be used to describe me in a romance novel kind of way.

Back to the Tribe, the above picture and the one to your right are my favorite Indians jerseys of all-time. I think it's because I grew up watching those uniforms. I think any era of jerseys that coincides with the time you first followed your favorite team always is going to be your favorite of the lot. I'm not a jersey guy. Lowercase j. Big J? Not really so much either. I do like "The Sopranos," though. I haven't worn a jersey in years, but if I can find a mid-1980s Cleveland Indians road jersey, I'd wear it more than that light blue Nike shirt which I wear at least 1.2 times a week.

- Compiled by Art McGregor

Milking some lemonade

You don't miss much while tooling around Schiller Park about 7 p.m. Bored before watching a lil' home run derby, I decided to go for a few laps around the .8 mile course. Ran into The Italian Guy with the Same Name as the Truth who We Always See at 185 and chatted with him a little, saw Tug and Sis (not dead!) at a distance and even ran into nine, 10 people that I yelled (in my head) "MayOR" as they ran past me. Anytime I see someone running, I think of my buddy The Mayor. Except black dudes running from the law.

Speaking of The Mayor, I got a text from him about 5:30 p.m. that just said, "670-iger." I thought that was fitting as he must have seen me driving on 670.

As you know, I don't get to the grocery store very often if at all. But I went last night and checked out at 9:35 p.m. Self check out. I was getting a 14-pack of SUGAR FREE CRYSTAL LIGHT ON THE GOD LEMONADE NATURAL FLAVOR and a 12-pack of GIANT EAGLE GENERIC WATER BOTTLES (with water inside). Naturally, I'll have to double up on the packets two times (two times). My rooomie made fun of me for buying water. (What ... is this 1995?) And claimed we had a Brita. It's a fair claim because we do have a Brita but bottled water is way better. And easier. Unlike women because the easy women aren't hardly ever the better women.

I found out about these nifty little portable lemonade packets over at my sister's house. When I lived with her, I routinely would drink her water bottles or have her chips or eat her bread and/or peanut butter. Sometimes her ice cream. Definitely her Diet 7-Up. And yeah, if she had cheese for a grilled cheese. She'd get pissed.I should have asked.

Now when I go over to her house, I'm a GUEST and no longer a roommate. I can pretty much have whatever I want and just say, "GUEST" whenever I'm there. It's a sweet gig. Other than the fact they live in Lower Arlington, it takes about 50 minutes to get there and their neighbor has a BHO sign.

When ya having me over for dinner again? :)

Thought HR Derby was pretty cool last night. I can't believe the Reds traded Josh Hamilton. Whatever with this pitcher they got, Hamilton is the deal. I think the NL gets off the snide tonight. Since they haven't won an All-Star game since 1996 (!!), I think "tonight's the night" in the words of Phil Collins. Last year's All-Star Game was pretty fun.

Glad to see the American League stick it to Quad-A once again. I don't know how the American League ever wins considering the masterminds over in the National League that can bunt and appreciate the double-switch.

The Sports Writer will be here in a little less than 60 hours. He's driving from Washington State to Cape Fear. Any and all are invited to get stupid Thursday at a possible Skully's/Arena District evening.

More news on the murder

Bout time to get ready to meet McGinley and The Godfather at the High Beck. Gorgeous night thus far.

Anyway, here's some more news on the German Village murder. Lady sounds like a hoot. I don't ever recall seeing her.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

I'm thinking D'Arby

Latest news on the homicide victim found last night in the German Village. I like the photo they're using in the story. From 1985.

I don't think Terence Trent D'Arby had anything to do with the death. But he did, for a short time, bring back the popularity of wishing wells. Presumably "to kiss and tell."

It'd be a real shame if the woman wasn't murdered at all and instead was just tossing a coin in the well hoping to live to the ripe ol' age of eighty deuce.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Saturday night, we hardly knew ya

I put the Saturday of Comfest right up there with The Friday at The Memorial Tournament, although Comfest is not presented by Morgan Stanley. Those pseudo-hippies would not want any part of that business or that business. There are very few events in Columbus that compare to Ohio State home football games. They're too few and far between, in my opinion.

(UPDATE: This would be a good time to note that the entire throng of people on the Haus und Garten Tour is outside my front door. A few have sun umbrellas. And there's a golf cart.)

After the season ends, you've got the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, St. Patrick's Day, The Crawl for Cancer, The Friday at the Memorial Tournament and the Saturday at Comfest not presented by Morgan Ensberg. That's it. There needs to be a Comfest or something like it in the German Village. But I guess it's cool we'll have the 50th annual HAUS UND GARTEN TOUR next year. At least there's that. Recognize about half the people on it from the Varsity Club after the Wisconsin game.

Really liked the crew at The Patio last night. Saw just about every person I know. Maybe like .05 percent of the people I know, but still. Didn't take terribly long to find a beer, enjoyed the company of The 1, The Godfather, Mathlete, Johnny K and Three Clicks. Night went by too fast. I think we got there at 10 p.m. and people scattered around 1 a.m.

Tribe lost its first season series to the Reds last night since 1997. That's sad news. Back then gas was $1.36 a gallon. Congrats Reds. Now you're the state champs of Kentucky and Ohio. Shame.

Before heading out last evening, I stumbled across a pretty sweet Web site. I don't think anyone compares to Italian women. The Croatians also look strong. Every country has some talent. The brunette Swedish girl? Nice! I will say this, judging from how these girls look, about 95 percent of Internet porn is not coming from the United States. I recogn ...

- Compiled by Art McGregor