About last boring night

Lots of people talk about ... "what's the first Super Bowl you remember watching?" ... or "first World Series?" ... or "first NBA Finals?" ... or "first Final Four?" .. or ... well, I'll remember my first "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition."

It was Paulina Porizkova in February 1985. I remember liking the issue. I was six. Kinda told me all I needed to know about myself.

As for the other questions, everything pretty much happened during 1985. The first sporting event I really remember vividly watching was the Doug Flutie "Hail Mary" game the day after Thanksgiving in 1984 at my Uncle Dick's. We went bowling at North Side Lanes after the game.

I remember listening to the Keith Byers v. Illinois game earlier that season on the radio and remember small tidbits of the Raiders win over the Redskins the Super Bowl earlier that year. I watched the Royals win the World Series in Fort Wayne, Ind. at some relatives.. I watched Villanova beat Georgetown over my buddy Misko's, and the Lakers beat the Celtics at some birthday party thing at my cousin Kevin's. Good times.

None better than checking out the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. (This year's edition comes out today.)

I didn't get my own subscription to SI until I turned nine. Here's the first one I ever got in the mail. I think it's the first time anything addressed to me came in the mail.

Watched "Rachel Getting Married" last night and liked it and didn't like it. Had some of the boringest, longest scenes I've ever seen in movies. The second half of the movie basically is the wedding day, with full songs from the reception being played and like 10-15 minute stretches where people are just dancing to music or loading the dishwasher. Entertaining movie but be prepared to fast-forward a ton of shit. The lead singer of TV on the Radio is the guy marrying Rachel and he's rather annoying as a Kanye West wannabe. If you like depressing movies that make you think, are about drug addictions, the death of children and have cool endings, go for it ... if not, you're not missing much. Anne Hathaway is hot. Oddly enough though, she doesn't play Rachel in the movie. She's Kym.

Enjoyed Missouri-Kansas in college basketball. Glad to see Mizzou get the W, although they'll lose in the first round of the NCAA tourney because they are the worst free-throw shooting team in America. That's not stats, that's just my opinion.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Let's all go to the movies

("Let's play two.")

With the way the snow fell last night around midnight, I expected a little more white stuff on the ground early this morning. Thanks to the super-snow-scraper thing I bought yesterday at Shell, I cleaned my car in a matter of minutes and headed into work this morning.

Drove home from the movies last night and yep, Bodega is never not packed. I wanted to drive through downtown during a snowfall and it's a pretty neat sight when no other cars are on the road. Obviously there's Monday night drinkers running across High Street but if you're out drinking on a Monday night in January, I assume that's normal behavior ... and that's coming from someone who has drank 14 nights this month.

I went to the movies last night as you've told your parents, "Hey mom, I'm going to the movies." You did this more often in high school. I did call my mom on the way to the movies last night and inform her on my cruel intentions. I saw Cruel Intentions at that same theatre in March 1999.

I saw Cruel Intentions II and III (straight to DVD) from the comforts of my own room. SPOILER ALERT: The threesome, lesbian scene at the end of Cruel Intentions II is must-see-straight-to-DVD.

In the end, Sebastian stays with Danielle; professing his love for her, only to find that she does not reciprocate, but is in fact working alongside Kathryn in a secret plan to dupe Sebastian. Defeated by Kathryn's manipulation, Sebastian states "if you can't beat them, join them," thus leading to a threesome with Danielle and Kathryn followed by an alliance of the three to dominate and manipulate others.

Everyone says "I'm going to the movies." It's a fallacy. Most people go see a movie. Why not just say, "I'm going to the movie." It's never, "I'm going to the basketball games" or "I'm going to watch some baseballs." The only thing about going those statements that (I guess) can be true is that when you go to a baseball game you're going to watch some baseballs unless there's no foul balls during the game and that never happens unless you're playing with one ball and you have to run and find it every time you lose it. Still in that case there are foul balls.

I went last night to the movies. I saw Slumdog Millionaire (7:50 p.m.) and My Bloody Valentine: 3D (10 p.m.). The two-play double feature.

Slumdog deserves every accolade it's receiving. It's a wonderful movie that's entertaining, fast-paced, suspenseful and heart-tugging. The first 10-15 minutes are kind of confusing because the story is being told in three-different time frames, plus there's some subtitles and it's kind of confusing if you have no idea what the movie is about going into it, but it speeds up and revolves around three things: 1. Love, 2. Family and 3. Money/the desire to move up in the world. I actually like how they show the ways he made money before the game show aspect and yeah, I don't want to give anything else away. I'd recommend it to anyone. I don't know what the hell it takes to win a Best Picture Award from the Meyer Wiener Family, but if this wins it, I'll cheer.


MBV: 3D won't be winning any Oscars and what the fuck is up with only one nude scene? Although it was pretty long and they rocked full-frontal-female nudity for about two solid minutes. The one gay guy from Dawson's Creek is in it, the chick from Slackers and this other dude that's been in other movies. It's actually kind of suspenseful and honestly I thought they did a fantastic job of keeping you guessing as to the identity the killer.


Movies ... Actually, this movie (singular) is AWESOME in 3D. It's the first time I've ever seen a 3D movie. And yeah, they do things on purpose in this movie to make it look cooler (and hence taking away from the flow of the movie) but it's FUCKING AWESOME. The glasses kinda hurt at first but you get used to them and it actually feels like these people are walking right in front of you. I took my glasses off a few times and it's funny to see how they blurry up the screen.

It's not a scary movie at all ... you'll laugh more than you have nightmares and it's a movie I wouldn't recommend on DVD but would say, "if you are bored as shit and want to see something different, go check it out."

You can do this on your next trip to the movie.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Midnight train to Lodge Bar

"Lodge Bar proved too much for the man. (Too much for the Truth.)"

Got in the car and the Truth began telling me that he saw "Notorious" over the weekend at the Arena Grand Theatre. Went "wit hiz boy" Z. "Only two white guys in there," the Truth said. "Huge fight broke out at the end of the movie."

"Didn't the guy who played Tupac also star in 8 Mile," I asked.

the Truth looked perplexed and didn't give me an answer.

Moments later.

"Oh yeah, that was him," he said. "For some reason I thought you were talking about 'The Green Mile.' "

He told me the movie in about a 13-minute speech without a blink or breath. The chick that played Lil' Kim is "hot and light skinned and gets naked a lot." Also "Puffy is kinda like the producer" and then 11.5 minutes I didn't pay attention.

The Lodge Bar surpassed every reasonable expectation. I will be there again next Thursday. the Truth (a noted German Village homer) offered me a toast for "bringing him there." I'd gather there were 150 gorgeous 20- to 22-year-old girls there. Jessie brought a gaggle. the Truth and I mostly stood there and watched and smoked 100 cigarettes. the Truth offered to take 54 pictures for girls and took one. He also wore the sweetest jacket I've ever seen. At the end of the night, we ordered a jello shot from the girl below (last name McGhee) and despite pleas from the Truth, she did not do one with us.

We left around 12:45 a.m. and went to Club 185 where I had one beer and took off. I had a heart-to-heart with McLimited and he kissed me three times. I truly believe he's the German Village leader in "times kissed Art McGregor."

Blog on the Run had more than 500 unique visitors yesterday thanks to yesterday's inclusion on Busted Coverage. It's the most ever for this site in a non-looking-for-nude-pictures-of-Rachael Br..."Jamie Graham"-kind-of way.

(Girl on right got naked, has big boobs for Playboy this fall.)

Have to hand it to The Lodge Bar for putting together an event like this where they let underage girls in, let them drink, and have sorority girls "guest bartend" in a competition to see which girl can bring the most girls. Way too many fratty guys, but actually, more girls. The girls (on the whole) were unfriendly and made out with certifiably ugly dudes. They also were fall-down drunk at 11:45 p.m. I suspect this is because they have eaten one cracker this week. That's not with chili. That's total.

Making the night even better? They had a high school baseball coaches convention in The Lodge Bar at the same time. When I saw a bunch of douchey dudes that probably live in the suburbs and are married to some chick they probably haven't wanted to fuck in three years I thought, "holy shit! Maybe people responded to my post at Busted Coverage." When I saw tens of dudes in their 40s rocking baseball jackets and hoodies I thought, "YES, they did!" Come to find out it was a convention or something and those guys all walked around like they had just won the lottery. The sorority girls couldn't have been nicer to those guys!

I am ready for the weekend. I am going to the Ohio State hockey game tonight and tomorrow and probably keeping it low-key at Club 185. I e-mailed Peaches yesterday that I'd like a steady rotation of Kings of Leon playing tonight because the concert is in four days. This is the last weekend that The Godfather is notdrinking (one word) so the rest of the year only can get better.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

You going to the Club?

Watched the game with McGinley, McGinley's brother, McCampus, the Truth ("you going to the Club?") and The Godfather in The Little Bar. Eastern side of bar.

"Drinking water, Truth?," I asked the Truth ("you going to the Club?").

"Big day at work, tomorrow," he said, "I got to get up early."

the Truth ("you going to the Club?") then asked me if I was "going to Club 185" three times in a 20-minute span near the end of the game. Each time I answered no in a more forceful manner. Perhaps the "Club" had more accessible H2O.

McGinley and The Godfather both joined the Truth ("you going to the Club?") on the DWB (drink water brigade) but neither of them asked me if I was "going to the Club?"

Saw two new old-faces bartending. They didn't have old-looking faces. I've just seen them working in there before (but not for awhile). The Butt (girl with the nice butt) and Skinny Exotic (S.E. for short). Skinny Exotic is the bartender that is skinny and looks exotic, in case you didn't know.

I hate Florida so obviously they won the BCS title. Ohio State finished No. 9 in The AP Rankings.

Before they spilled the Gatorade on Florida coach Urban Meyer, the Truth ("you going to the Club?") informed us all that he was taking off to go to the "Club."

- From the desk of Art McGregor

While you were away: Little Bar on Sundays

(Leodis)

OK, first of all:

Props to The Little Bar. They take care of you. Great service. The hot bartender in the Browns No. 82 jersey looked really hot today. The 1 said so himself.

The 1 and I got there at 1 (oddly enough) and ordered the most food ever from Wings & Brew (real name of the place). I still have "mild wings" burps going on. That cheese bread is fantastic.

The Bills Fans yelled "Leodis" upon our entrance and 31 times throughout the game. They ripped off their jerseys when the Bills lost to the 49ers. They averaged 1.2 f-bombs per minute. They turned on each other. That's what I loved. They flipped off the television screen and said "Beast Mode" 600 times. I major in hyperbole but these are all real stats. I didn't throw any pencils at The 1 but we had a grand fucking time, each sucking down three 22-ounce beers and at least 3,000 calories of fried food.

We left at 4 p.m. and it was raining and cold and then I got home and realized I had nothing to do until the time I went to bed. I decided to do laundry and start drinking at 9 p.m. I did it. I accomplished something. Chest bump? Chest bump.

God, I had a good day. I had a great Saturday night and a better Friday and an even better Thursday. I will continue to update you as I see fit.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Early to bed, waiting to rise

(Scene from Skully's later tonight.)

Took my fifth visit to Date State University last night and splurged for the big meal at El Vac. I told her it was a cheap place and that played into my decision to go there. She didn't seem to mind. That's one advantage to dating a college girl. They really do eat like crap the rest of the time.

"Usually just pick up a bag of chips at UDF."

Along those same lines, I went home right after dinner. We spent a long time talking about the weekend and figured it best to get some rest. Went home and watched some "Dirty, Sexy, Money" with The Godfather. He really is critical of Lucy Liu.

When that's the third paragraph of a run-down of the previous night, you know not too much happened.

Before getting to El Vac, I made the pimp move of stopping for gas with her in the car because I was about to run out.

Today figures to drag on for about 600 hours.

Yesterday flew by, no doing of my own. I had one of my least productive third Wednesdays of the month I've ever had. Didn't booze though.

And on the fourth day, there was rest. And the rest? We'll surely make some history.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Regressing further in life

(Ethan, Naomi, Grandma, Annie, Dixon, Mom, Teacher, Silver, Navid)

What they're doing in Minnesota to Sen. Norm Coleman is a damn shame. This report on Fox News today is outstanding.

Correcting these typos was claimed to add 435 votes to Franken and take 69 votes from Coleman. Corrections were posted in other races, but they were only a fraction of those for the Senate. The Senate gains for Franken were 2.5 times the gain for Obama in the presidential race count, 2.9 times the total gain that Democrats got across all Minnesota congressional races, and 5 times the net loss that Democrats suffered for all state House races.

Absolutely shameful.

"I'm regressing in life." The Godfather added this tidbit as he played Dr. Mario last night on our couch under a poster of Kellen Winslow Jr. in our living room.

Nintendo. Poster. Living room.

I went to Date State last night on a visit to the Lennox. Saw "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." Terrible name for a movie and it got way too lovey-dovey toward the end (a couple of scenes that just wouldn't end ... including one in slow-mo) but hilarious fucking movie. I'd recommend it to anyone. One incredible thing about this Seth Rogen movie is that it didn't have one reference to smoking pot or him being a Jewish. (A Jewish.) A first on both accounts.

My date got a mixed Icee and I thought that was pretty outstanding. I'd recommend that to anyone, as well. Went back to her place and watched "Gossip Girl" thus making it the greatest.date.ever. Liked the episode although it was perhaps the most predictable one in the history of the show. Still good though and way better than the previous handful. I don't like how some characters aren't ever on the show. Nate? Vanessa? Where art thou Romeo? (There is no Romeo on the show.) Serena and Aaron Rose deserve to die. Seriously.

I did miss watching the show with the trendys though. I will have to return next Monday if they'll have me. They need some alone time with Nemo their dog. Also he shits all over the house so last night I thought, "tonight would be a good night not to step in shit."

Odd to say, but the current edition of "90210" might be the most realistic rendition of what actual high school is like. This comes 18 years after the first show started as one of the most unrealistic depictions of grades nine through 12. Although I don't care about any characters on the show, I still like the show. I thought Navid and Adrianna's scenes on last Tuesday's episodes were top notch. I guess I like those two the best. Too much Naomi last week. The show wouldn't miss a beat without her.

(That was for Esq. who sent me a text last Wednesday night asking about a recap.)

Pretty standard Tuesday. I consistently wake up on Tuesday mornings thinking it's Wednesday. This is a problem and no fun. But I imagine that happens to the best of us. And you.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Bye, Weekend

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

Have you ever seen that guy on TV? He's pretty awesome. I need to have a 20-minute conversation about him with trendy because I'm sure trendy has his thoughts and feelings on Pat Caddell. I know he'll say ... in these exact words ... "Oh yeah, that guy? He's awesome. Total badass. Total." He'll move his right hand up when he says that last "total." I know it's an odd combo but I'd love to send Godsmack, McGinley, trendy and my dad on a "seven-day talk politics cruise." The conversation would last well after the ship docked. Or until the Miller Lites ran out. The latter probably would happen in about 17 hours.

Listen to me. Being all smart with the sea-faring lingo.

I am hurting this morning. My body is numb in some places. I am sore. No real attention span to speak of. But I actually am getting a lot done at work and had a 7:30 a.m. breakfast meeting. I never have thought so much at 7:30 a.m. My brain hurts too. I had pancakes and scrambled eggs.

I cracked open the first suds last night around 9 p.m. and texted Dorothy from Halloween. I'll get to that. Trying to get to you, too. And that booty.

We had a great exchange (no ATM fees) and I settled into watching a special episode of "Hannity and Colmes" around 10 p.m. That's when I started marveling at Caddell. First off. He looks dead. Like I don't know what dead people look like (nobody does, that's why they look different in all scary movies) but I thought he was a corpse. Then he just said like 15 things that I agree with without being a bastard. I love FOX News. They have on that he's a "former Democratic pollster" so we think he's on "the other side." Ann Coulter also was on and she looks hot after you've had a 22-ounce Heineken can and three 16-ounce Miller Lites also cans. So I'm thinking ... "It's Coulter against Caddell!" But it's not, he just made great sense and I'd probably vote for him if he ever ran for president. He's also younger than my dad and I canfuckingnot believe that.

Watched "Entourage" and really liked Gary Cole's character. I like that actor despite sitting here and being unable to tell you one movie he's ever been in.

Then I got to texting this girl I met at the Ugly Tuna a few Thursdays ago. I remember she was hot and 21. She also has a cool first name. She had a boyfriend at the time. I hadn't heard from her in about a week but she sent me a text last night (11:14 p.m.) that said, "How was your weekend" She didn't include a question mark and I'm not really a stickler when it comes to punctuation in texts. And she's hot and 21.

Turns out "some recent events" happen to be her breaking up with her boyfriend. We then went tit for tat on texts until 1:31 a.m. I didn't get hammered last night (unlike Friday and Saturday) but I definitely had a good buzz. I sent some GREAT texts. If I blogged after a Friday night out, I'd probably win a Pulitzer. Seriously. I'm not one to pat myself on the back but I entertain.

Walking home from the Arena District (with the Truth no less!!) on Friday night had to be the highlight of the weekend. I turned right onto High Street (near Hyde Park) and bumped into the Truth (who was walking north). We had been separated early in the night. It took about an hour. Not a bad walk. We sang "I know what them girls, I know, I know what them girls" like about 500 times and he called a random chick and had the most hilarious conversation ever with her on speaker phone and this is a family-oriented blog so I won't get into that business. They used the word lube.

My fangs didn't work on Friday night so I decided to just wear a suit out with that ridiculous cap I wear on New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day. I also rocked a "Another Democrat for McCain" sticker both Friday and Saturday night. Sleepy is so perplexed and shocked that I'm an "arch conservative." He's awesome. The Godfather and I are on a full-out plan to get him to move here. There's no plan or whatever but we did tell him to move here. It's not a real strong argument but it ain't flimsy either.

I just loved Friday night around 11:30 p.m. the Truth came over dressed as Jim Tressel. He killed it. And we tried to get my fangs to work by boiling down this plastic substance. We looked like we were cooking up meth. It didn't work. You really can't boil water in a microwave. It's just not possible. The Godfather came over and we went to The Patio ($10 cover charge?) and met Rainbow Bright and Headband there. Sleepy showed up, as well. Sleepy had a long heart-to-heart conversation with a random chick who threw beer on people. It included this exchange: "This is the second time today I've been nice to you." ... "Well, fuck you." Awesome.

I swear every chick was dressed as a hotass amazon girl or indian. I just saw so many flat bellies. That's the highlight of the weekend. So many flat bellies. Rainbow Bright gave me shit that I wasn't paying attention to her when we were talking but Jesus Christ, I had a lot of stuff to look at! I failed to make eye contact with anyone I talked to the entire night. I wish the night could have lasted 600 hours. Maybe that's why we walked home.

I met a girl I really like while on the dance floor outside. I went to lunch with her the next day. At Tuttle Mall. That all happened. She was dressed as Dorothy (from "The Wizard of Oz" ... not the one-time gubernatorial candidate) and I commented that Dorothy wore calf high white socks (cotton?) not thigh highs. We hit it off. I don't know what happened but I like talking to this girl, she's fun to listen to, down to earth, is about 5'3'', 100 pounds. It's a dream situation. She lives in Cleveland. Obviously I'll blow it because I'm a firm believer that everyone should just have four or five people they hook up with on occasion and she probably won't be down for that. BUT. But ... I like spending time with her and we'll see what happens. I met her two days ago.

Everyone left and I started walking home. Not enough cabs for all those flat bellies. That's when I ran into the Truth. What a walk. We received "life coaching" from a random near the Statehouse. Of course we did! He (homeless) probably stuck around for the BHO rally on Sunday. I can't wait for the election to be over so I don't have to see The Sports Writer perform Facebook Fellatio on Obama until maybe 2012. I still will be facebooking.

I felt shitty on Saturday from about 2 p.m. until 8 p.m. Then I went over the Truth's and started drinking again while he put on his costume. He was the best Joker. It's not even close. I can't wait to see pictures. I went as Bill from "True Blood." There he is. I looked good. I might dye my hair black. I look sweet. He's a vampire. He's undead. Like Pat Caddell.


The McCampus Party at Callahans rocked. It sort of was more "grown up." Not so much when certain peoples toked up outside on the patio. But most of the girls wore non-slutty costumes. The Godfather houdini'd real early. It was one of the more shocking non-The Mayor houdinis in a long time. I left around 2:30 a.m. ... which I think actually was 3:30 a.m. The time change did not affect me at all this year. I had no idea of time. My text messages on Saturday night weren't as good.

Another awesome day at The Little Bar despite the Browns. We stopped on the way home for milkshakes. What a shitty sports weekend for me ... Cavs, Browns and Blue Jackets all losers and the Buckeyes didn't even play. The Texas-Texas Tech game obviously was awesome.

So was the weekend.

185-Brothers-Park Street Tavern trifecta

Of all things Sleepy decided to go to the Arena District and The Godfather said, "fuck it, I'm in."

We left Club 185 a little after midnight and drove to Brothers. Sleepy had about 10 friends there and most were chicks with a couple dudes thrown in. They were hardcore (and presumably still are) Republicans. We walked over to Patio/Sugar (my suggestion) and there was an Obama banner hanging on the fence. They refused to go in. I'm glad about that because I didn't have any cash on me and there was a $5, five dollar, $5 cover charge.

Naturally we hit that trifecta we normally bang out on Thursday nights. Club 185-Brothers-Park Street Tavern. Ate a bunch of popcorn at "the Park."

Details of all that are kind of hazy. I thought one of the girls looked good so I mainly just talked to her and bullshitted (made fun of people) with The Godfather. I won't write anything further until those folks are out of town and I don't have any chance to see them again.

Earlier, I went to a costume store in Whitehall with the Truth and bought some fangs and black hair spray. The people in the store fit every stereotype you could draw up. We were there for about an hour as the Truth asked 1,764 questions about makeup and had a woman give his wig a hair cut. He only asked 815 questions about the wig.

He smoked 20 cigarette during the trip and told me about his haircut problems on the drive over there in one of those conversations where whenever you suggest something the other person goes back to the other option. Moral? He doesn't think he should be spending $40 on a haircut but he "does like to have a coffee while he gets his haircut." Spent some time talking about his need to pull away from nicotine and caffeine.

Rolled into 185 a little after 10 p.m. and chatted with McCampus as McLimited, Sleepy and The Godfather quoted "Good Fellas" and "Mad Men" for about 25 minutes. McCampus told me he's going as a gay cyclist for Halloween (as if there's any other kind) and concluded by saying, "I look like a mental patient." He left at 11:fifteen. No. 1 in Columbus worked last night so that was advantageous and led to a Sleepy-asked-query, "who's the new girl?" A couple Ohio State football players showed up to enjoy their bye week and then followed us to Park Street. (Allegedly.)

Got home around 2 a.m. The chick from Texas told me I was a "ring leader" and I took that to mean "leader." That didn't bother The Godfather at all.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

To the dogs (and my dawgs)

What a mess for baseball. I turned the game on in the fourth inning and thought, "OK, they aren't canceling this now because?"

I looked at the radar. (Did you know there was a Philadelphia, Miss.?) There was a slow moving green and yellow (not a boogar) blob over the Philadelphia (Pa.) region. It probably was going to rain for about 10 hours and worsen. It wasn't like the game was a blowout. It was 2-1. Just say, "hey, sorry about this, but we shouldn't have started this game and now it's over."

Because Tampa Bay (not a city in Mississippi or Pennsylvania or any of the other 48 states) scored in the top of the sixth, baseball comes out smelling a little rosier or at least less shitty. If they don't score, they would have kept playing in that shit, make NO doubt about it. Anything else they try to sell you is complete well, bull crap.

Continuing on that "humans picking up animal shit" theme, I don't hate the trendys dog, Nemo. It's a slacker dog, so I like it. I like that it's a slacker. Not that it's a dog. It kinda just lays around all the time and doesn't make a sound. It's got nappy(ish) hair and is going bald. It kinda looks pissed off that it's a dog and not a human. It's got a human spirit. I gathered this in the four minutes we bonded.

After a strong first six episodes of season two, "Gossip Girl" has hit more of a rut. Last night's episode was fine, but nothing more than a solid C-plus. Jenny Humphrey (she's 15 on the show ... and in real life) looked like she was about 30-years old. Also, Kaitlin Cooper (from "The OC" fame) had a role on the show basically playing Kaitlin Cooper.

I know Ohio State isn't having the best season but ... you know ... they aren't exactly not going to a bowl game and playing on the Big Ten Network's REGIONAL coverage in Week 10 of the college football season. Michigan (2-6) will see its 33-year bowl appearance streak snapped this year with a loss in any of its final four games. The steak is the longest in college football. You can catch the Wolverines on the BTN this Saturday at noon visiting Purdue. So yes. Worst Michigan team in four decades.

That's about all I got on this morning. We're getting closer to the weekend. That's good.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

'Friday Night Lights'

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

I realize many may not have the asinine amount of free time that I do, but I did manage to watch nine episodes of "Friday Night Lights" last night before bed. Time-Warner's wireless connection was messed up last night so I didn't get to watch any episodes in bed.

Doesn't mean I didn't think about it while there.

Bill Simmons at ESPN.com wrote about the show this past year. He wrapped it up very nicely:

Quite simply, FNL is the best date show ever, an improbable cross between The O.C. and every sports show you ever wanted Hollywood to make. It's the first show my wife and I have loved equally, but for different reasons. What can be better than that?

Simmons goes on to call it the best sports show ever. It is. Without doubt. And the thing is, I like the non-football parts the best. There's really not even that much football on the show considering it's about football. The football scenes look real, if not the endings of those games. (Who consistently runs the ball from the 50-yard line with seven seconds down when you're down four points? ... And high school football games usually are not close. Most games are blowouts.)

It's really an amazing show. I watch a lot of TV and I really can't delineate amongst the top of my favorites, but this show is right up there and I've only watched 12 of the original 37 episodes. (Season 3 will air on NBC this winter/spring.)

You can watch all the episodes right here for free. Just don't pay attention to the communist commercials. (There are 15 second commercial breaks.)

McCampus and The Godfather talked about the show a lot last year. I'm glad I'm finally on the bandwagon.

In the first dozen episodes, I got choked up about three or four times and heard the following songs:

"Devil Town" by Bright Eyes
"Stranglehold" by Ted Nugent
"Dead Man's Will" by Iron & Wine

I don't think I will watch nine episodes today. Could go for 10.

5:21 p.m.: The great beyond

(I am against everything this picture stands for.)

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

Lothario-ing ain't easy.

Especially on Monday nights.

I had to make one big decision last night. Felt kind of hungry at about 7 p.m. Since I've given up fast food and Chipotle, this would require a trip to the grocery store. Nowhere else sells food.

The fuck, you're thinking. Why not just go to the Shell Station for some Doritos?

Also gave up the entire Shell Station (except for gas) between Mondays and Wednesdays. That move alone will save me ... not making this up ... about $400 a year.

Back to hunger pains.

I'm incredibly obsessive about my weight. I weigh myself every morning and write it down on my desk calendar. For example, on the last Wednesday of September I weighed 151.8 pounds. The next day 150.8 and the next 152.6. (Thursday night's 18 gallons of beer I drink.)

I don't know what days those are (like the 28th, 29th or 30th) because I have to rip off the previous month. But I write in the last week's weights above the first week of each current month. Are you following? No? OK.

Today I'm at 151.2. Pounds. My cousin Kevin had the nickname "LB" in high school because he pounded beers not because he played linebacker because he played soccer and I think he played fullback because he's a bigger guy but get this he played linebacker and fullback on Tecmo Super Bowl because on that game you control all the positions well not on both teams because that'd be boring.

This is just a sentence so I don't begin every paragraph with an "I." Moral is this, I didn't go out yesterday. I stayed in. I didn't go and get a loaf of bread and a thing of peanut butter. I stayed in and instead ate three packets of Austin's Peanut Butter Crackers. I had 45 of them. I'm down to about 18.

Hindsight says I should have at least walked over to Kroger. I could have used the fresh air. After getting home from work at 5:21 p.m., I didn't leave the house. I can't remember that ever happening before. (I've got home at 5:21 p.m. before ... probably multiple times. But not in the same day. That'd be impossible.)

Alonzo Hindsight usually gives great advice.

My house is a complete disaster right now. I am living alone this month before The Godfather moves in post-election. The downstairs is clean as can be. All dishes and cups are clean because I never use them. But the upstairs just has clothes everywhere. Except on the ceiling because we're dancing on the ceiling. Clothes ain't welcome.

Oh what a feeling.

I'm in the midst of bringing out (bring 'em out, bring 'em out) my sweaters and retiring my 3,215 button down shirts that are either blue or light green. Also in the midst of laundry. Also in the midst of not knowing what's clean and dirty so that means everything is dirty. My hallway is covered in clothes. And socks.

I didn't leave the house last night. It's tough to blog about that. If I keep having to write short little posts like this on Tuesday morning, I am going to have to at least leave the house post-5:21 p.m.

That is easy.

Chili, C-plus, Club

Enjoyed watching some of the debate with McCampus, McCampus GF, The Godfather and the Truth. the Truth smoked in both the backyard and front porch. The Godfather made really good chili and sent 21 texts.

McCampus played the gracious host at the Superdome/813. He also has an inexplicable "Express" poster hanging in his living room.

the Truth and I went to Ugly Tuna until about 1 a.m. Logsdon threw out many "Gerbil Village" references that got zero laughs. They could just have a Chris Logsdon hologram up there because he did the same bit three weeks ago.

For all his cracks on Gerbil Village, the Tuna rocked an 80/20 male-female split.

Didn't get much better at Club 185.

The scoreboard read:

11 dudes, 3 girls.

Good times at the Club, however. They've got a new bartender that I assume will draw in a few new repeat customers. She's got some talent.

A C-plus Thursday night. I feel good this morning.

It's time for the weekend.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

B-minus weekend

A few thoughts on the weekend ...

- Buffalo Wild Wings (campus) ... we'll call it BDL ... B-Dubbs-Lane ... has taken over The EGG's mantle for Sunday afternoon football. BDL has hotter waitresses, more TVs, more space to sit, hotter fans, no bullshit music during commercials, no stupid trivia questions, etc. Plus, the Mathlete isn't banned from EGG for the next four-plus years.

The Godfather, The 1 and I decided on this move. It's a huge decision.

We first went to B-Dubbs in the German Village and that place is fucking awful. Totally depressing and projection televisions. I feel bad for the place. The 1 and I left after about four minutes.

- Missing The Godfather at The Varsity Club isn't a good thing. The day lacked something. I had the best time of the day AT the game. Bullshitting with McGinley and The 1 was awesome and the game was pretty enjoyable. The Buckeyes had some of their swagger back. I think the Oregon State win over USC had a lot to do with that.

I got really drunk. I don't really remember much. More to come.

- The Browns suck. But suck less than the Bengals.

- I spilled a full lemonade on The 1.

- I am glad the Buckeyes play on the road next week. Fun times at the EGG for the Wisconsin game. I assume me and The 1 will go at 5:30 or 6, the Godfather will come later, the Truth will be there at 5:31 or 6:01 and The Mayor and his assorted entourage will show up at about 7:52 p.m.

I had a pretty good weekend. I'm ready for Thursday.

Tuna?

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Ohio State 28, Troy 10

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

A couple hundred times this weekend I heard something and thought, "that'd be an awesome headline on the blog!"

But The Godfather pointed out:

"That's the bad thing about hanging out with the Truth. You never remember anything."

I walked back to The Mayor's house this morning to pick up my car. It was still there from Friday night. the Truth gave us a ride home on Friday night. German Village ain't exactly Jacksonville, Fla. when it comes to land mass.

"I might run out of gas," said the Truth, as he dropped me off about .7 miles (a 10-minute walk) from my house.

I sent a text to The Godfather early yesterday morning that said, "let's go to the EGG as early as possible."

I left the EGG last night around 11 p.m. Obviously, I was there still drinking as the theme of the day seemed to be "Yes, I'll have another beer." I rolled up a $38 tab on beer only. On a Sunday. You need it when watching the Browns.

I really think I've had two seminal moments since moving back to The German Village in 2005:

A Seeing The Mayor (black North Face) and The Godfather (gray Ohio State hoodie) at Club 185 on Friday, Oct. 28, 2005 and B the time at The EGG when The 1 said, "we're staying here until dusk."

You deserve to have Sunday Fundays. You should be out there drinking. Think back to that Sunday in July when you sat around, didn't shower, flipped channels for seven hours and struggled to fall asleep at night because you were so inactive throughout the course of the day.

The Godfather left the EGG at about 7:30 p.m. last night. I went over and talked to The EGG Guys for about two hours before they left. I just sat at the bar and watched the Yankees game and a little of the Packers game. I sent too many text messages to an old girlfriend in Baltimore.

When it all started, it was all good.

I walked into The Mayor's on Friday night and saw McCampus.

"You used to get a lot more excited to see me," he said.

True story. Dot org.

Seeing him was great as he pretty much says the funniest things ever. We (of course) retreated into the living room to watch baseball highlights on mute.

In that same way, it was good to have a funny text message exchange with The 1 throughout the weekend. I don't remember any of them.

That's the truth. And the Truth.

One person I did not see or hear from this weekend was NJAG. On Friday, Aug. 8 I went over her house and ate Tostitos. Then we went to The Patio. Then she said she wanted to get food at 185 and I didn't (already had had the corn chips), so she left and I haven't heard from her since.

For the first time since Thursday, Aug. 28, I went to The Patio. Ended up there on Saturday night. I had a blast on Saturday.

"I can't wait for next Saturday," I said to The Godfather Parents yesterday at lunch at Mad Mex.

Mad Mex? Eh. I thought a steak taco was just like a normal taco. I thought a taco had steak meat in it. It doesn't. Did like the rice though.

The key to Saturday was constant movement after laying around all day until 3 p.m. Got to V.C. at 3:45 p.m. and spent an hour or so talking to this Hot Jill Girl and her mom and thinking, "I can't believe I used to have sleepovers with this girl. (daughter not mom)"

Seeing Johnny K was awesome and he made small talk with the mom. I told him, "You smell like the beach!" He did. That's the awesome thing about Johnny K. He always looks like he just got home from the beach. In Ohio.

Spent a lot of time at the inside/outside bar at The Varsity Club. The Intern's brother played baseball at Ohio State a few years back so he was surrounded by the hottest chicks in the history of Columbus. I just stayed there for about an hour.

Went back outside and talked to The Doctor. Bringing girlfriends to Ohio State games is a great idea. Sarcasm is the act of lying on purpose.

Also chatted with a really ugly (not nice) Canadian (!!) chick for about 20 minutes. It could have been six minutes. We discussed Wayne Gretzky and what I was doing later that night. She was probably 32 but looked 43. I prefer when they're 18 and look 16.

Kinda fooled around with a really drunk chick for a little bit who stumbled and fell. Like. On the ground. She was so drunk she fell over.

Walked up to B-Dubs (after pledgin' NEVER AGAIN) and met up with The Godfather and two couples. McGinley wasn't in town so The Godfather was not a part of any couple and I wouldn't couple until hours later.

The Godfather actually stole a beer from the bar. He reached over the bar and took it out of the cooler. I've never seen that done before. I love when I see something for the first time.

Felt like I was seeing St. Patrick's Day Girl for the first time. Ran into her at Patio and then we made out (inside bar and then outside bar) in full view of about 200 people. It was my second bar face sucking session of the day. This girl didn't fall over.

She looked amazing. I don't remember her being that good looking. She has a couple upper back/neck TATS that added to the hottness.

Also saw Hooters Girl there and she said hello. She didn't respond to my text yesterday.

The night really kicked off when the Truth rolled into B-Dubs about eight seconds before The Godfather houdini'd to go to a PARTY IN THE GERMAN VILLAGE.

"It was kind of lame," he'd later say. "I kind of dozed off."

Truth and I went to Four Kegs where we talked to chicks about god knows what. Maybe chewing gum? Truth always ALWAYS has gum. Then we hung out in a parking lot behind the bar for five or ten minutes.

"Do you smoke?" McCampus asked Joe Incognito/Esera a night before.

"What? Pot? Meth?" Incognito/Esera responded.

Mayorfest '08 kicked ass. We (like you didn't know!) ended up chucking beer cans at each other and pouring beer on ourselves. This was about 2:10 a.m. It was me, the Truth, The Mayor and The Godfather. Average age? About 32.

I am sure I've leaving a lot out.

I can't wait for next Saturday.

Cue the Alice in Chains: It's over now

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

It's been said before around these parts: "The Godfather and Art McGregor share the same brain."

We'll get into that in a minute, but first I have a confession. I had a dream about McCampus last night.

Usually, I don't discuss my dreams. I keep those to myself. They're about the only thing I keep to myself. Also, I keep my wallet to myself. And its contents.

I don't remember the particulars, but it involves the High Bar (Olympics gymnastics event ... picture above) and McCampus being a dare devil on a makeshift apparatus. Well, the first time, he sticks the landing. The next time, he misses and plummets about 40 feet to the ground. We rush to his rescue where he's endured a few minor injuries. It's a miracle.

That said, I was going to write about the Yankees today. They are FINISHED. They are as far out of first place as the Indians. That's just pathetic. Paulie Byrd, for the second time in two seasons, has finished the Yankees off. No Yankees in the playoffs for the first time since 1993. FOX, ESPN and TBS are lobbying to add additional teams to the playoffs. The Tribe, fresh off its Olympic championship, won their tenth straight game. If they win 29 more in a row, they could sneak into the playoffs. Impossible. BUT (you knew there'd be one ... although I prefer the butts right around the two decade old mark), they've got a really easy schedule in the next 17 games with seven against pure-stink Kansas City, four against pure-stink Baltimore and three against pure-stink Seattle. They've also got three against the White Sox with Lee and Carmona pitching at home. Stranger things have happened!! (On drugs paragraph.)

It's Thursday morning and I'm happy. It's obviously still raining but hopefully it stops soon. My cable went out last night and that's the final straw. I am switching to DirecTV tomorrow afternoon.

Not sure what the weekend (pre-Buckeyes game) entails. I haven't drank since Saturday night, which is probably my last four-night non-drinking streak until next spring. I can't imagine ever going more than three days in the fall, with NFL football, days off and boring Tuesday nights when I need to drink.

SWM seeking Slush Puppie machine

(Notice what flavor he's drinking. Yeah bitches.)

Maybe the Tribe's just in the wrong division. With a win against Baltimore last night, the Indians improved to 16-8 against the AL East this season. Or maybe they just suck. Probably the latter. Regardless, a fun game to follow last night and anytime your favorite team wins - no matter how bad they are - it feels good.

Spent another evening in Newark writing for the Cape Cod Times last night. Enjoyed the game. It's pretty good baseball (16-18 year olds) and it WAS a perfect night for baseball. That's something the old timers in the press box must have said 431 times.

My favorite press box story from the past few years took place at Marion-Franklin High School here in Columbus. It ain't exactly the nicest facility, it was about 200 degrees inside (and cold and rainy outside), there were flies all over the place and the windows kept fogging up. Thank God The Godfather joined me. Also, the field was so muddy that you couldn't see the numbers on any of the players jerseys.

Got this text from the Truth last night:

"sat..qfm 96 Ohio best rack competition 8-10!!"

I think I can, I think I can.

Had a Slush Puppie at the game. For a $1.50, you can't beat it. At some point in my life, I wil have a Slush Puppie machine in my house. I'd only need one flavor. Cherry. Sometimes I may mix it up with an orange (flavor, not the fruit) but 90 percent I'm rocking the red tongue.

Watched the Olympics with Miss July. She moves on Thursday morning. Who's moving in? Well ... and I'm not making this up ... likely it will be a character in the upcoming "Lion King" at the Ohio Theatre.

Sounds about right.

- Compiled by Art McGregor

Long post about boring Patio-related stuff

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

I have a pair of shoes that I wear to work about 70 percent of the time. I wear sandals or tennis shoes on Friday and sometimes black shoes with a suit. They're also the brown shoes I wore to Club 185 every day between December 2007 and April 2008. I looked at them this morning and got mad. The weekend was over. It was time to put on my brown shoes.

I really like this article by Pat Forde on ESPN.com today. I know it's silly to post links to ESPN.com, I mean, I know no on reads that site anyway, but he really captured the drama of that event.

He said it best:

What transpired during the final 50 meters was the stuff of Disney movies.

"That event" is the swimming relay last night. I think most people are talking about it today and it's probably "the event" of these Olympics. I watched most of the coverage last night with 16-ounce cans of Miller Lite and Miss July. She knows her stuff about gymnastics. I had forgot about Kim Zmeskal. I was more of a Shannon Miller fan. Not so much anymore. We talked at length about the sport and the 1992 women's team. I gander I know more about Olympics gymnastics than any 29-year-old straight male out there. Save your commentary.

I'm usually let down by sports on Sundays. Yesterday, I went to bed pretty happy. The 16-ouncers didn't hurt there.

I just feel like I should have an aunt or an uncle who has a swimming pool out near Newark in Jacksontown. You ever driven north on Route 13 toward Newark on a summer Saturday afternoon around 4:30 p.m.? It's a nice drive. Newark is beyond shitty (I had no idea), but the drive there is nice. I need to get on having an uncle out there with a pool. That's a big priority today.

I had lunch at El Vaquero on Saturday afternoon. It set the stage for a day I'll remember as "As Good as it Gets."

Great lunch, Tribe win, take in a baseball game, write about said baseball game for a newspaper in Cape Cod, get told by the sports editor there that I have "good stuff," watch the Olympics, watch UFC for the first time and close down The Patio. Oh yes.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a team player but I love team sports. I have little interest in individual sports like tennis, golf and boxing. But I walked away impressed with the UFC. I watched it in a fun setting. Perhaps that's why I enjoyed it. Crammed into The Patio's inside bar, I watched three or four matches with a few hundred meatheads with additional Affliction shirts in their closets. I saw a bunch of people I knew (NOT McCampus or The 1 I USED TO KNOW) and had a couple handfuls of beers. I'm not a big action movie guy and I don't like fighting, but I will make it a point to watch those UFC events from now on. Next one is September 6.

Another thing I really liked about this weekend happened on Friday. I was looking at the college football television schedule and I started to picture that first OSU home Saturday on August 30 (19 days away!). Go to the game, watch Utah play Michigan in the blaring sun at the Varsity Club, say like 30 times that I "kind of want to watch LSU and Appalachian State," head to B-Dubs or Out r' Inn (no clue why) around 8 and then watch other games at a campus location, or EGG and inevitably Club 185. Home football Saturdays are the seven best days of the year.

I had a couple of work things yesterday and the day absolutely flew by.

Yes, I already am looking forward to next weekend. But I'll miss this past weekend.

Friday night I went to The Patio with NJAG after eating about 7,000 of her tostitos. Her line of the night? "You smell like tostitos." Yes. When you eat 6,500 of them, that's bound to happen. She told me McCampus would meet us there. I told her "there's about a 2 percent chance of that happening." We ran into an old friend from The Dispatch and My Boy Whit. My Boy Whit owns it. He came out with his "APS." It's an affliction-type, velvety shirt that he calls his "ass pulling shirt." I didn't wear RESPECT this weekend but did rock NIKE on Friday night. No worries. You'll see RESPECT on Friday and NIKE likely on Saturday.

NJAG left around 1 a.m. because she wanted something to eat from Club 185 and I ran into our old buddies from the EGG (Whatever it takes and Small Guy), and The Guy We Sing With. We again belted out classic tunes from the 1990s. Also making an appearance was every hot chick in Columbus.

I really am going to miss these summer weekends. I could go to The Patio every night and I almost practically do. The singing, the scenery, the setting.

I don't want to miss a thing.

Listened to "Milli" by Lil' Wayne earlier today. He calls himself a "venereal disease," rhymes Nigeria with criteria (how Olympics of him) and says "shy girl changed her name to my girl." Other than having the most annoying background sound of all-time, it's a great song. I listened to that rolling into work.

There's no reason why I typed out that last paragraph other than thinking it'd be something I'd put on this blog.

Also, there's no fucking chance that a picture of Helen Hunt ever will be on this blog again.

'Going on for centuries'

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

My cousin Evan dropped by yesterday to talk sports, girls, rap music and drugs.

Born of the 20th century, these are topics that most of us discuss. You see, he's 8. His date of birth is December 1999.

He opined that Lil' Wayne definitely does drugs, but Jay-Z doesn't because "Jay-Z doesn't swear as much."

He thinks the Pirates stink but understands why they traded Xavier Nady. "Those two younger guys they got could ONE DAY become really good, right?"

He still wonders about this little girl that sat next to him this past October during the Michigan State-Ohio State game. "What was her name again? Ashley?"

I like that he knows his shit about sports. I mean, he really knows it. Knows the players and the uniforms and wonders "where Beanie Wells lives?"

But he gets that knowledge from playing hours and hours of video games. He doesn't usually go to bed until 3 a.m. and drinks Red Bull after midnight.

He'll be in the third grade later this month.

We had a good time. Went to this park next to my sister's place in Lower Arlington, 43220.

But it's a park. They have slides and swings and weird bars and climbing mechanisms. So when you have kids, you work all day, come home to a wife that doesn't let you do many fun things, and take your kids to a park where they do pointless activities and beg you to watch them when you'd rather be checking your cell phone for baseball scores? Wow. And this has been going on for centuries?

Sometimes I just think I'm smarter than everyone else.

I had to get fitted for a tux for my sister's wedding, so she can have kids and take them "to the park" during her only two hours of free time per day. I haven't worn a tux since July 31, 1987. True story.

I missed out on bowling with McCampus, The Godfather and NJAG. That's a shame.

Overall, a good week thus far. Haven't had a beer since Saturday night at the Street Festival in Chicago. That's a really good run for me. A better run would be from Chicago to Columbus. Even if that run was to Columbus, Indiana, it'd still be fucking far.

I had spaghetti last night for the first time in about three months. Holy tasty. Back when we used to go to the EGG or I took dates to Easy Street Cafe, I'd order up some pasta with grilled chicken. Tryin' to be all classy and shit. Hmm ... I had pasta a couple Fridays ago at Betty's but it didn't have red sauce, so technically that's not spaghetti in my book.

One thing I forgot to bring up about Chicago was that a lot of people go on dates. Like real dates. Like, "pick you up at 8!" George _ Bush TF?!??! Who does that? I knew we were in trouble when we got to The Doctor's apartment and his roomie AMOS, said "I am GOING OUT ON A DATE." And actually was serious. When we got back a little after 1 a.m., he was on the couch watching something lame on television.

Probably thinking about a future that holds taking his future kids to the park on Wednesday evenings in August.

Used to eat breakfast

(Potential breakfast trend in fall 2008?)

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

I'm happy to report that I slept last night without the aid of alcohol or sleeping pills. Fell asleep sometime after midnight, woke up at 7:30 a.m. It wasn't the best night's sleep, but very excited about that development.

I got into work this morning and got this e-mail from NJAG (aka 'B'):

Oh my goodness, they have been covering the Olympics every morning on the Today show. This morning there was a profile on this female weightlifter - but she wasn't big, she was little, like 5'1". Anyway, her story was so inspirational I cried. [McCampus] made fun of me for being excited about the Olympics - clearly he has not been watching the inspirational profiles on the Today show.

(Emphasis mine. )

I was up at 7:30 a.m. this morning and didn't watch either. I've now gone since about the second grade without watching Today. Back then I watched it daily. With my pancakes. On a little 13-inch color TV in the kitchen. As of Feb. 17, 2009, that television will no longer work.

I ate a lot of pancakes back then. I can't remember the last pancake I ate. I used to go to Jack and Benny's all the time with my old girlfriend McBaltimore. The chocolate chip pancakes were amazing. I remember watching a Kurt Warner-led New York Giants team beating the Browns there in October 2004. I watched football at a pancake factory. That's sort of impressive, I guess.

It's one of the more odd settings I've watched a football game. The other being Pittsburgh.