Showing posts with label god hates me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god hates me. Show all posts

Monday, February 2, 2009

Trip to IU, Part II


By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

On Friday nights you can find me in the Club.

The staff/roster at Club 185 on Friday nights this winter is probably my favorite since I started frequenting the bar on Oct. 21, 2005. Although the old Wednesday night duo in the winter of 2006 is probably "my favorite," the fact that it's four or five people on a busy Friday night is special. That said, I probably enjoy going to The Patio on Friday night (whatever the season) more.

The Patio has figured it out. It's the one bar in the arena district that seems to be the least douchiest which is something amazing because it shares space with Sugar, the Afflicshirt capital of the world. They always have fun bands playing good cover tunes and the chicks are hot and rather friendly. The pictured girl was there and is probably one of the Top Five, Ten or 20 Most Beautiful Girls in Columbus That Hang Out In Bars In The Arena District.



The Athlete visited us this weekend with a couple of his buddies. He made it clear that he wanted to "do anything but Club 185." We gathered in a cab van and headed to The Patio where my Patio Hook-Up (great girl) got us a table and free cover. We laughed, stared at hot chicks, drank beers, did some shots and I talked to a rather hot girl who told me she "loved my look." I wore that one green plaid shirt that I wear out at least twice a week. I am thinking it returns this Thursday at The Lodge Bar, although I wore it there this past Thursday and then again on Friday night. Saturday I went with a scarlet Ohio State T-shirt that got a lot of love from various people.

We wanted to leave for IU on Saturday morning at 10 a.m. We left at 11:45 a.m. This is mainly because of the drinking the previous night, the ShamWow demonstration when we got home and an apple chucking contest in my backyard (in my bare feet with eight inches of snow on the ground). I smell a sick day!

The ride to Indiana and back home went by so fucking quickly. When we got home, we vedged a bit before going to The Little Bar.

I can't believe The 1 didn't show up at The Little Bar with us for last night's game. It almost reminds me of a boy-girl relationship (no offense) where one party needs the other party a lot more. I love The 1 and anytime I ask him about something or for something that doesn't require his presence, he does it in a heartbeat. But I'm bummed he couldn't make the Kings of Leon concert on Tuesday and then the Super Bowl on Sunday because they're shit we talked about for weeks, if not months, and you just never know if he's going to actually show up. He likely had good-to-excellent reasons for both decisions but it's frustrating. It's not like I'm going to stop asking him to do stuff because I like spending time with him. Like I said. It's almost like a boy-girl relationship and I'm the bitch in this relationship.

I feel bad because McGinley posted some stuff about how few people ask him to do stuff anymore now that he's not drinking and I'm responsible for that as well. I haven't asked McGinley to do something since he's been back in November. I apologize for that.

You can't fake crazy. Marshawn (Bills fan) and Screaming Steelers Fan were at the bar and it was absolutely amazing. There were about 10-15 obnoxious Browns fans there as The Godfather dubbed the place "Deadwood."

There are no laws in The Little Bar.

It's just a collection of yelling, shot taking, swearing, beer drinking with the best bar owner in Columbus and unfriendly, hot bartenders. Browns No. 82 wore a ripped Steelers T-shirt. She has still yet to engage me in any sort of conversation (my life's dream) but she did remember my last name on my tab after the fourth time she asked for it. Baby steps. We sat in the middle of the bar. We had like seven or eight beers and felt ZERO buzz. Not a good sign.

You can't fake crazy. The obnoxious Browns fans were just a bit much. Yelling every five seconds and saying something funny just 9 percent of the time. That other 91 percent for four straight hours got to be a little much. The Bills fans during the regular season and Steelers guy are flat-out crazy (in a good way) and you actually laugh at the insane shit they say. Fucking hilarious. I can't do justice (with written words) to the Steelers guy celebration after the game other than he told Browns fans, "Hey, we did it for the AFC!" and he kept saying/slurring/yelling, "Black president!" I got him to reenact his famous WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO with four alternating fist/whole arm pumps. I am going to do that move a ton in the coming months given anything to celebrate. Like having a chick tell me "she loves my look."

WOO.
WOOO.
WOO.
WOOOOOO.


The Godfather and I are excellent at making up fake professional expansion teams. We'd like to have two NHL teams in north central Ohio. The Richland Rampage and (Canadien accent) "da" Norton Nordiques. Last night we said the Browns and the Steelers should combine forces and become the Cleveburgh Strowns.

(In Pittsburgh accent)

"Do do do do
Here we go
Strowns
Do do
Here we go
Strowns
Doo do doo
Here we go
Strowns
We got a feelin'
Dat Cleveburgh's
Goin' to dah
Supah Bowl"

We then said all trophies and team operations would move to Youngstown, Ohio. We talked about this for six hours. the Truth (who joined us late and in-between cigarette breaks) didn't understand.

You know. I hate the Steelers. I really do but what's the point anymore? I didn't feel bad at all after yesterday's win. Who cares if they win the next 100 Super Bowls. What does it change?

I am the most unlucky sports fan in the history of the United States. Teams I root against and hate are now 15-2 in championship games. The teams I love are 1-6. That's 3-21 total. Fucking astonishing considering championship games are supposed to be relatively equal. There's no way I should be anything worse than 10-14 or 11-13. God hates me.

Our row of nine people at the Ohio State-Indiana game never shut up. We barely said things that made any sense. People that sit near us absolutely have to think we're crazy. We just talk and talk and talk and talk. I like that we don't use profanity. I hate when people cuss as games because there are fucking kids around. McGinley's "Kay Yow/Hey Now" Outkast remix is so fucking funny. Did you hear Kay Yow died? We said that at least 94 times. In two hours.

Assembly Hall at IU is fucking great. Maybe I will have a better memory of the place because Ohio State won but it's just a cool old school facility and Indiana has the most passionate basketball fans I have ever been around.

Great weekend. I had a 13-hour straight text message conversation with a girl. The Godfather finally asked me who I was texting. I need a night off. Pumped about going over to the trendys tonight for Gossip Girl. I will be going to the Blue Jackets game tomorrow night with Baltimore.

Quite the stretch I just wrapped up:

Tuesday - Kings of Leon concert Here's a more professional review.
Wednesday - Michigan v. Ohio State in college basketball
Thursday- HOT COLLEGE GIRLS Night at The Lodge Bar
Friday - The Patio w/ Athlete and Co.
Saturday - IU
Sunday - Super Bowl at The Little Bar

I am fucking destroying my body, killing myself with alcohol and feeling like shit whenever I'm not drinking.

February is lookin' good!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Motherfucker - A Gossip Girl post


Ugh.

Emphasis inspired by The 1, I shout "boreeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ring" (boring) any time a scene on Gossip Girl revolves around Lily and Rufus. They're terrible and bring nothing to show.

Like you, I got excited at the prospect of a Gossip Girl spin-off. I mean, three awesome shows on The CW?! I know! (Excited McGregor face.) Right! Well, it's happening. And you guessed it, it's going to revolve around Lily's childhood?!!??!!?!? (Read the comments on the post to see that I'm not the only one!) What. THEFUCK. Think about a Growing Pains spin-off about the burgeoning love of Maggie and Jason!? All together now: "BORRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-RING." We all know any Growing Pains spin-off should have dealt with Boner's time in the army.

Can Brittany (The CW Star) save the day!? We're counting on you to end this madness! Give that new spin-off show the kiss of death!


- From the desk of Art McGregor

Friday, January 9, 2009

You going to the Club?


Watched the game with McGinley, McGinley's brother, McCampus, the Truth ("you going to the Club?") and The Godfather in The Little Bar. Eastern side of bar.

"Drinking water, Truth?," I asked the Truth ("you going to the Club?").

"Big day at work, tomorrow," he said, "I got to get up early."

the Truth ("you going to the Club?") then asked me if I was "going to Club 185" three times in a 20-minute span near the end of the game. Each time I answered no in a more forceful manner. Perhaps the "Club" had more accessible H2O.

McGinley and The Godfather both joined the Truth ("you going to the Club?") on the DWB (drink water brigade) but neither of them asked me if I was "going to the Club?"

Saw two new old-faces bartending. They didn't have old-looking faces. I've just seen them working in there before (but not for awhile). The Butt (girl with the nice butt) and Skinny Exotic (S.E. for short). Skinny Exotic is the bartender that is skinny and looks exotic, in case you didn't know.

I hate Florida so obviously they won the BCS title. Ohio State finished No. 9 in The AP Rankings.

Before they spilled the Gatorade on Florida coach Urban Meyer, the Truth ("you going to the Club?") informed us all that he was taking off to go to the "Club."

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Monday, December 22, 2008

Belton out a bender


By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

Had quite the bender this weekend. Put on a rather nice drinking display. If we were to liken my weekend to an NBA (basketball) game, we'd say (because we are going to liken, if not lichen, this shit) I shot the ball 36 times, made 17 of them, made a handful of free throws, had one rebound (rim shot!) and no assists. I scored 51 points in a losing effort. Will get into the weekend shortly. Seriously. It's a two-day work week for me. Well, three but whatever. Again. We'll get into tha. I promise. I'll even find that missing t from the last word two sentences ago.

If you know anything about me, it's two things: God hates me and I'm the most unlucky sports fan/gambler/fantasy football player of all-time. I'm the most influential sports fan in the history of the world. That's not a joke. Teams I root for FLAT-OUT don't win. I know people enjoy hearing stories about fantasy football almost as much as they like picture-only-posts over at German Village Media that make sense to only one person, but I'm going to give you an example.

I played in the Final Four of my Yahoo! fantasy league the weekend of Dec. 12. I had the No. 1 seed and rolled through the regular season. Then Andre Johnson single-handily beat me with a FRANCHISE RECORD 200-some-odd-yards receiving day. So keep this in mind, the Texans have been around for five or six years and ... and ... this dude had the BIGGEST DAY in the history of the team ... just to beat me. This past week (yesterday) when Andre Johnson wasn't playing against me? He had FUCKING ZERO CATCHES. NONE.

Everything fell apart on Saturday night. This continued into Sunday. This doesn't include when I randomly left Art School Dropout's apartment without saying a word but in full view of everyone. I picked five bowl games this weekend. I won't count the one I won because ESPN pointed out that 94 percent of the country made that pick as well, so no big deal on that one. So I lost the other four. This is almost impossible to do. I picked two favorites and two underdogs. Had I picked any other combination, I'd have won more games. It's pathetic.

I'm an all-or-nothing-type guy. When fucking Belton (Wake Forest player) scored on a god damn meaningless touchdown run when Wake coulda just KNEELED on the ball, I threw myself to the ground and knew it was all over. I really threw myself on the ground. The Godfather witnessed this action. Despite there being 35 other bowl games to go, I knew my goose was cooked. I look forward to Bowl Season probably more than anyone and as of right now, in our 35-man poll, I am in FUCKING LAST PLACE. It's all over. I look forward to looking forward to the Motor City Bowl and the Independence Bowl and even the International Bowl. It's all over now.



God hates me.