Charles Manson had a brother

the Truth wants to move in with you.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Break-ups and make-ups

I dated a girl in high school. She's exactly the type of girl you'd figure I would date back in the late 1990s. She liked sports, she was really smart, her parents were non-divorced, she was extremely thin and overall pretty average looking. Blonde, pale skin, tall, cute in a nerdy way. She was flat-out respectable. That's what I wanted. To be respectable. Not so much her.

I broke up with her twice in the span of about a week in Feburary 1997. The last time I wrote a note and read it over the phone to her. Purdue played at Indiana in a Tuesday night ESPN game. My mom and sister couldn't believe I was going to do that so they listened to the call and nearly died of laughter. It was the end of that. Nothing against her, I just ... wasn't ... that ... into ... dating her.

We had stayed in touch throughout the years ... maybe talking once or twice a year. History has treated her right. You wouldn't call her a hot chick by any means, but if she walked into a bar you'd probably think, "eh, she's pretty cute." the Truth would immediately want to set up a "solid date" with her.

She messaged me on Facebook an hour ago and we made some small talk. She then told me she had a question to ask me and that she'd probably have to wait until she was drunk until she could ask. I immediately went into McGregor-mode which allows me to answer any question at all, totally honest while being totally flippant.

"Why'd you break up with me in high school?"

I gave her straight answers. It's pretty hilarious. Told her thegodshonesttruth that I had no interest having a girlfriend, how that much like now I'm not going to give a girl any time if I'm not head-over-heels about her, and that since we mostly just made out on her couch when her parents weren't home back then, the prospects of fun booty calling didn't exist.

She laughed (I presume) and said, "too bad we're not having this conversation in person, so you could see this hotness when we're drunk."

Was she admitting that she's only hot when drunk? Possible.

I then asked her the only question that could make her wantable and/or hot.

"I heard you were married?"

She said, "your information is dated."

The big D! Divorce Rock City!

Bummer though. She would have been hotter had she been married.

Rocked a "take care" and went on my way giving her closure after 12 years. She also told me I'm the only person who's ever dumped me. I think there are somewhere around 30-35 girls that have dumped me.

Moved onto the Truth. He signed on Facebook and we started chatting, he said:

how do I find all the people who sent me friend requests on this stupid thing?

I explained to him and look at what happened:

2:28pm
[Truth] and [McGinley] are now friends.

The circle of life. The wheel of fortune.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Midnight train to Lodge Bar

"Lodge Bar proved too much for the man. (Too much for the Truth.)"

Got in the car and the Truth began telling me that he saw "Notorious" over the weekend at the Arena Grand Theatre. Went "wit hiz boy" Z. "Only two white guys in there," the Truth said. "Huge fight broke out at the end of the movie."

"Didn't the guy who played Tupac also star in 8 Mile," I asked.

the Truth looked perplexed and didn't give me an answer.

Moments later.

"Oh yeah, that was him," he said. "For some reason I thought you were talking about 'The Green Mile.' "

He told me the movie in about a 13-minute speech without a blink or breath. The chick that played Lil' Kim is "hot and light skinned and gets naked a lot." Also "Puffy is kinda like the producer" and then 11.5 minutes I didn't pay attention.

The Lodge Bar surpassed every reasonable expectation. I will be there again next Thursday. the Truth (a noted German Village homer) offered me a toast for "bringing him there." I'd gather there were 150 gorgeous 20- to 22-year-old girls there. Jessie brought a gaggle. the Truth and I mostly stood there and watched and smoked 100 cigarettes. the Truth offered to take 54 pictures for girls and took one. He also wore the sweetest jacket I've ever seen. At the end of the night, we ordered a jello shot from the girl below (last name McGhee) and despite pleas from the Truth, she did not do one with us.

We left around 12:45 a.m. and went to Club 185 where I had one beer and took off. I had a heart-to-heart with McLimited and he kissed me three times. I truly believe he's the German Village leader in "times kissed Art McGregor."

Blog on the Run had more than 500 unique visitors yesterday thanks to yesterday's inclusion on Busted Coverage. It's the most ever for this site in a non-looking-for-nude-pictures-of-Rachael Br..."Jamie Graham"-kind-of way.

(Girl on right got naked, has big boobs for Playboy this fall.)

Have to hand it to The Lodge Bar for putting together an event like this where they let underage girls in, let them drink, and have sorority girls "guest bartend" in a competition to see which girl can bring the most girls. Way too many fratty guys, but actually, more girls. The girls (on the whole) were unfriendly and made out with certifiably ugly dudes. They also were fall-down drunk at 11:45 p.m. I suspect this is because they have eaten one cracker this week. That's not with chili. That's total.

Making the night even better? They had a high school baseball coaches convention in The Lodge Bar at the same time. When I saw a bunch of douchey dudes that probably live in the suburbs and are married to some chick they probably haven't wanted to fuck in three years I thought, "holy shit! Maybe people responded to my post at Busted Coverage." When I saw tens of dudes in their 40s rocking baseball jackets and hoodies I thought, "YES, they did!" Come to find out it was a convention or something and those guys all walked around like they had just won the lottery. The sorority girls couldn't have been nicer to those guys!

I am ready for the weekend. I am going to the Ohio State hockey game tonight and tomorrow and probably keeping it low-key at Club 185. I e-mailed Peaches yesterday that I'd like a steady rotation of Kings of Leon playing tonight because the concert is in four days. This is the last weekend that The Godfather is notdrinking (one word) so the rest of the year only can get better.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

185-Brothers-Park Street Tavern trifecta

Of all things Sleepy decided to go to the Arena District and The Godfather said, "fuck it, I'm in."

We left Club 185 a little after midnight and drove to Brothers. Sleepy had about 10 friends there and most were chicks with a couple dudes thrown in. They were hardcore (and presumably still are) Republicans. We walked over to Patio/Sugar (my suggestion) and there was an Obama banner hanging on the fence. They refused to go in. I'm glad about that because I didn't have any cash on me and there was a $5, five dollar, $5 cover charge.

Naturally we hit that trifecta we normally bang out on Thursday nights. Club 185-Brothers-Park Street Tavern. Ate a bunch of popcorn at "the Park."

Details of all that are kind of hazy. I thought one of the girls looked good so I mainly just talked to her and bullshitted (made fun of people) with The Godfather. I won't write anything further until those folks are out of town and I don't have any chance to see them again.

Earlier, I went to a costume store in Whitehall with the Truth and bought some fangs and black hair spray. The people in the store fit every stereotype you could draw up. We were there for about an hour as the Truth asked 1,764 questions about makeup and had a woman give his wig a hair cut. He only asked 815 questions about the wig.

He smoked 20 cigarette during the trip and told me about his haircut problems on the drive over there in one of those conversations where whenever you suggest something the other person goes back to the other option. Moral? He doesn't think he should be spending $40 on a haircut but he "does like to have a coffee while he gets his haircut." Spent some time talking about his need to pull away from nicotine and caffeine.

Rolled into 185 a little after 10 p.m. and chatted with McCampus as McLimited, Sleepy and The Godfather quoted "Good Fellas" and "Mad Men" for about 25 minutes. McCampus told me he's going as a gay cyclist for Halloween (as if there's any other kind) and concluded by saying, "I look like a mental patient." He left at 11:fifteen. No. 1 in Columbus worked last night so that was advantageous and led to a Sleepy-asked-query, "who's the new girl?" A couple Ohio State football players showed up to enjoy their bye week and then followed us to Park Street. (Allegedly.)

Got home around 2 a.m. The chick from Texas told me I was a "ring leader" and I took that to mean "leader." That didn't bother The Godfather at all.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Chili, C-plus, Club

Enjoyed watching some of the debate with McCampus, McCampus GF, The Godfather and the Truth. the Truth smoked in both the backyard and front porch. The Godfather made really good chili and sent 21 texts.

McCampus played the gracious host at the Superdome/813. He also has an inexplicable "Express" poster hanging in his living room.

the Truth and I went to Ugly Tuna until about 1 a.m. Logsdon threw out many "Gerbil Village" references that got zero laughs. They could just have a Chris Logsdon hologram up there because he did the same bit three weeks ago.

For all his cracks on Gerbil Village, the Tuna rocked an 80/20 male-female split.

Didn't get much better at Club 185.

The scoreboard read:

11 dudes, 3 girls.

Good times at the Club, however. They've got a new bartender that I assume will draw in a few new repeat customers. She's got some talent.

A C-plus Thursday night. I feel good this morning.

It's time for the weekend.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Ohio State 34, Minnesota 21

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

Rainbow Bright got mad at me for calling out a weekend a few weeks back. I said it was just an OK weekend. Let me explain something. I grade weekends on a curve. The grade has nothing to ... well, very little to do ... with people.

I gave this past weekend a non-A because it was sunny and hot, I got too drunk too quick and not having The Godfather around also didn't help. Also, The Stalker showed up at The Pole (The Varsity Club's, not my own) and just stood there while no one talked to her.

Weekend ended with a trip to Gay Kroger to buy stamps and I ran into The Biggest Slut Who Lives In The German Village. She of course did not say hello. She goes to the "Waitresses at The EGG School of Wearing a Scowl on your Face at All Times."

After the high school football game, I met McGinley, SHG, P Gritty and The Godfather at the Hey Hey. Then we went to High Beck. On a Friday. I'm ... hopefully a one-time occurrence. Also played some Keno with McCampus at the Hey Hey. I saw more McCampus this weekend than I have since the McGregor-McCampus Hey Day of February 2007, the month after his infamous "eat a dick, blog it" text. We also saw DJ AM that night. RIP.

We then went to The Patio and I think we all were tired. Going to the Hey Hey and sitting at a low top at High Beck can do that to a person. Also, I had a busy week. I've chronicled it but I had very little time to just lay around and do nothing. I was at full-go all week. I could being full-go as going to my sister's and watching two television shows on Monday night. Friday night's tiredness spilled over into the weekend.

I can't express how much fun I had at the game. Sitting next to McGinley and The 1 is a real treat. People around us HAD to hate us. We're completely rude and don't stop talking. We're not usually talking about the game. Or anything really. We must have said "BOOM" Herron at least 347 times. The 1 also experience a voice cracking (ala a 14-year-old boy) when singing "Seven Nation Army."

He's going to Wichita.

The Mayor came and stayed for ONE PLAY. Not quite sure what was up with that, but that had to suck.

I went to The Blackwell postgame with The 1 and had a beer with my dad. Met The 1's friend New Edition. New Edition is a great guy. Between Powder, Johnny K, Hot D and New Edition, The 1 has some great friends.

Hung out with Rainbow Bright, McCampus, The Mayor and such at the VC. The sun rendered me utterly useless. I don't remember much. I remember seeing the Truth. Those past two sentences go hand in hand. The 1 and I got into a cab, dropped off the Truth and headed back to the German Village. I showered, semi-sobered up, ate a packet of peanut butter crackers and went back out to Four Kegs with The Godfather, Mathlete and friends. McGinley (not drinking this fall) dropped us off.

I ate a soft pretzel and those crackers on Saturday. Combined with the 14 beers and five shots, I completely have ZERO recollection of anything that happened after 11 o'clock on Saturday night. I houdini'd on myself. I like that we were walking down a dark alley and then I went missing and The Godfather later recounted that he didn't do anything about it. What's up with that?!?!

I need a break. I am so relieved we have a road game this weekend. I've done heavy boozing 10 out of the past 11 days. It's a bender. I REALLY NEED TO TAKE THREE DAYS OFF.

I had a really enjoyable Sunday a B-Dubs Lane. More to follow.

Ohio State 28, Troy 10

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

A couple hundred times this weekend I heard something and thought, "that'd be an awesome headline on the blog!"

But The Godfather pointed out:

"That's the bad thing about hanging out with the Truth. You never remember anything."

I walked back to The Mayor's house this morning to pick up my car. It was still there from Friday night. the Truth gave us a ride home on Friday night. German Village ain't exactly Jacksonville, Fla. when it comes to land mass.

"I might run out of gas," said the Truth, as he dropped me off about .7 miles (a 10-minute walk) from my house.

I sent a text to The Godfather early yesterday morning that said, "let's go to the EGG as early as possible."

I left the EGG last night around 11 p.m. Obviously, I was there still drinking as the theme of the day seemed to be "Yes, I'll have another beer." I rolled up a $38 tab on beer only. On a Sunday. You need it when watching the Browns.

I really think I've had two seminal moments since moving back to The German Village in 2005:

A Seeing The Mayor (black North Face) and The Godfather (gray Ohio State hoodie) at Club 185 on Friday, Oct. 28, 2005 and B the time at The EGG when The 1 said, "we're staying here until dusk."

You deserve to have Sunday Fundays. You should be out there drinking. Think back to that Sunday in July when you sat around, didn't shower, flipped channels for seven hours and struggled to fall asleep at night because you were so inactive throughout the course of the day.

The Godfather left the EGG at about 7:30 p.m. last night. I went over and talked to The EGG Guys for about two hours before they left. I just sat at the bar and watched the Yankees game and a little of the Packers game. I sent too many text messages to an old girlfriend in Baltimore.

When it all started, it was all good.

I walked into The Mayor's on Friday night and saw McCampus.

"You used to get a lot more excited to see me," he said.

True story. Dot org.

Seeing him was great as he pretty much says the funniest things ever. We (of course) retreated into the living room to watch baseball highlights on mute.

In that same way, it was good to have a funny text message exchange with The 1 throughout the weekend. I don't remember any of them.

That's the truth. And the Truth.

One person I did not see or hear from this weekend was NJAG. On Friday, Aug. 8 I went over her house and ate Tostitos. Then we went to The Patio. Then she said she wanted to get food at 185 and I didn't (already had had the corn chips), so she left and I haven't heard from her since.

For the first time since Thursday, Aug. 28, I went to The Patio. Ended up there on Saturday night. I had a blast on Saturday.

"I can't wait for next Saturday," I said to The Godfather Parents yesterday at lunch at Mad Mex.

Mad Mex? Eh. I thought a steak taco was just like a normal taco. I thought a taco had steak meat in it. It doesn't. Did like the rice though.

The key to Saturday was constant movement after laying around all day until 3 p.m. Got to V.C. at 3:45 p.m. and spent an hour or so talking to this Hot Jill Girl and her mom and thinking, "I can't believe I used to have sleepovers with this girl. (daughter not mom)"

Seeing Johnny K was awesome and he made small talk with the mom. I told him, "You smell like the beach!" He did. That's the awesome thing about Johnny K. He always looks like he just got home from the beach. In Ohio.

Spent a lot of time at the inside/outside bar at The Varsity Club. The Intern's brother played baseball at Ohio State a few years back so he was surrounded by the hottest chicks in the history of Columbus. I just stayed there for about an hour.

Went back outside and talked to The Doctor. Bringing girlfriends to Ohio State games is a great idea. Sarcasm is the act of lying on purpose.

Also chatted with a really ugly (not nice) Canadian (!!) chick for about 20 minutes. It could have been six minutes. We discussed Wayne Gretzky and what I was doing later that night. She was probably 32 but looked 43. I prefer when they're 18 and look 16.

Kinda fooled around with a really drunk chick for a little bit who stumbled and fell. Like. On the ground. She was so drunk she fell over.

Walked up to B-Dubs (after pledgin' NEVER AGAIN) and met up with The Godfather and two couples. McGinley wasn't in town so The Godfather was not a part of any couple and I wouldn't couple until hours later.

The Godfather actually stole a beer from the bar. He reached over the bar and took it out of the cooler. I've never seen that done before. I love when I see something for the first time.

Felt like I was seeing St. Patrick's Day Girl for the first time. Ran into her at Patio and then we made out (inside bar and then outside bar) in full view of about 200 people. It was my second bar face sucking session of the day. This girl didn't fall over.

She looked amazing. I don't remember her being that good looking. She has a couple upper back/neck TATS that added to the hottness.

Also saw Hooters Girl there and she said hello. She didn't respond to my text yesterday.

The night really kicked off when the Truth rolled into B-Dubs about eight seconds before The Godfather houdini'd to go to a PARTY IN THE GERMAN VILLAGE.

"It was kind of lame," he'd later say. "I kind of dozed off."

Truth and I went to Four Kegs where we talked to chicks about god knows what. Maybe chewing gum? Truth always ALWAYS has gum. Then we hung out in a parking lot behind the bar for five or ten minutes.

"Do you smoke?" McCampus asked Joe Incognito/Esera a night before.

"What? Pot? Meth?" Incognito/Esera responded.

Mayorfest '08 kicked ass. We (like you didn't know!) ended up chucking beer cans at each other and pouring beer on ourselves. This was about 2:10 a.m. It was me, the Truth, The Mayor and The Godfather. Average age? About 32.

I am sure I've leaving a lot out.

I can't wait for next Saturday.

Ohio State 43, YSU 0

(Jessica is 18.)

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

The above girl goes to community college near Arizona State. She might be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and would give up 10 years of my life for three or four dates with her. I'd give up five years for one date (with a guarantee she'd put out).

I bring this up because I saw The 1 yesterday after 63 days (nine weeks). It was fantastic to see him. He was wearing an Arizona State hat and will be heading out to ASU on Thursday, Sept. 18. He'll be going to the Georgia-ASU game (football).

The 1 gets Week 1 MVP Honors. He brought us back to The Tailgate Behind Tommy's Pizza (TTBTP ... BTB for short). But first, here's some more pictures of Jessica and friends.

(Skinnier than Art McGregor ... combined.)

(They are good at being hot freshmen.)

BTB is the new VC. I thoroughly enjoyed The Varsity Club, but BTB had free food, free beer, a television, nice people and good looking women. Also free food and free beer. The trio from the get go included The 1, the Truth and Art McGregor. Disappointed I didn't see the rest of The 1's posse that includes His Girlfriend (blog name), Three Clicks (formerly Toe), Powder, Johnny K and Hot D. Anytime I see Hot D, he will be MVP of the Week. He's the guy who asked me to write his autobiography. He also implored people to "flip that shit" when buying houses and doesn't know what that means.

Before I recap the day, I need to say how great it is to get back into Seeing The People You Normally See During Football Season. Guys like TUG and T-MUG (Tall More Unfriendly Guy) and chicks like Sis, Gahannastan and the rest of their group. Also known as The People I Used To See All The Time At Club 185 In The Winter And Fall Of 2006. Also saw TD Hoodie and Peaches at The Varsity Club and beyond.

Anytime we end up at Four Kegs things are not good. Had lunch and our fantasy football draft today at Planks on Whittier. the Truth (not in the league but at the draft) and I were legit surprised to hear we went to Four Kegs. It wasn't a wise choice. We did a Jager Bomb there. I think that was the Truth's idea. I also ran into a girl from college who thinks I'm crazy and/or stalking her. I remembered her first and last name, what classes we had together and where she went to high school. I think I talked to her twice in college. I always sort of hope I run into this hot Jewish chick named Brittany (spelling?) from college. I haven't since our last JCOM 315 class in Fall 2000. She was a big Gore supporter (obviously) but I don't let that bother me. Maybe I'll see her next week. That would be tits (even though her's were small). As you can tell with Jessica, I am not a boobs guy even though people have called me a boob. Actually they haven't. But being called a boob would be funny.

I think we got to Four Kegs around 10 p.m. It could be anywhere from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. I made it home at 1 a.m. after eating 32,212 peanuts at a random party. After The Godfather climbed to the top of a dirt mountain on 16th Avenue, I celebrated by falling on the pavement and banging my head ("I could hear it" - The Godfather) on the sidewalk. It still fucking hurts.

We ate in the ballpark of 20-25 beers apiece. I also ate a ball park hot dog. I'm not a beer-counter-guy but I had about eight at the tailgate, seven or eight more at the Varsity Club, two or three at B-Dubs, two or three at Four Kegs, a Jager Bomb and then a couple more walking down the street and at various parties where girls kicked us out. No one likes to see that.

Day started out innocently enough. Drove to the game with The Godfather and a German, High School Foreign Exchange Student. Met up with The 1 at BTP at around noon. He said I looked great and "not skinny enough." I missed The 1 and the way he asks questions and says things. His take on Sarah Palin? "Is this lady girl really ready to be president." He still claims to be an "undecided" voter.

Got to love T-MUG and the tailgate. Had a great time. Genuinely nice people that are fun to talk to. I could just text this to The 1 but I'll say it here instead: Remind me to give you a case of Miller Lite for next week. I'll be there in the third quarter of the OSU-OU game. And maybe for a beer or two beforehand.

For all the making fun of frat guys I do, they get the hot chicks. Most girls at this tailgate were hot. That's amazing. Free beer, hot women (I think I referred to them as "Stepfords" although that's kind of derogatory) and Wavy Lays Potato Chips. Yum to all of the above.

Additional props to Sis for rocking the light hair. Loved it. Almost made up for not seeing Hot D. Almost. Didn't like her light blue shirt though. Shirt was fine but light blue? I know you're not an OSU alum, but come on. Support the team.

the Truth had many Truth-like comments on John McCain and other things. His reason for McCain's trouble at raising his arms? "They didn't have the good candy when he was a little kid. You know he's probably eating black licorice and rhubarb flavored things."

Headed over to The VC around 4 p.m. Loved the crew there. Saw TD Hoodie and Peaches. Peaches looked awesome. Sweet sunglasses, kick ass hair, cool T-shirt. Girl has style. Hoodie had a tight T-shirt on.

I'm kind of worn out telling this story. Need a break. OK, back.

I didn't really take a break there. But you can't tell that.

How we got to B-Dubs, I'll never know. Did we take a helicopter? Police escort? Cab? Walk? Probably the latter. Ran into Rainbow Bright and others. Headband wasn't there. Huh?

Saw a friend of a girl I used to know. She said, "I'll tell her you said hi." I said, "don't do that."

1. I didn't say hi.
2. I thought it was funny to not say hello. It seemed wise at the time.

Stayed at B-Dubs for awhile. Good chatting with Rainbow Bright, as that's what we do in football season. The Godfather's brother, the Mathlete, also was around. He added to fun.

I can't believe we didn't see The Mayor. I loved the group yesterday though. It was good Truth, happy The Godfather, fun Mathlete and Mathlete's underage girlfriend. I like having her around because it increases our chances of seeing other underage girls.

Then we marched around campus doing stupid shit and climbing dirt mountains, and tackling each other and ripping our shirts off and eating things and smoking funny things (oops ... Kid Rock reference).

The area over my left eye is killing me. Fuuuck. I am dead. I feel like shit. The 10,000 french fries I ate at Planks are not helping.

the Truth wants to go out tonight but I think I'll pass and just have a few drinks here. Some will be water.

I cannot fucking believe how much fun we had yesterday. Looking forward to next week.

And maybe running into that Britney (spelling?) girl.

The Veep Stakes

By MISTERTRENDY
Blog on the Run senior writer

All the talk these days seems to be about whom Obama and McCain should pick as their VP running mate. Never passing up an opportunity to weigh in, I offer some suggestions this week to the two men seeking the presidency. My selections are from an elite pool of candidates – namely, true “Americans” (i.e., German Village residents).

The Elite

Tops on any list has to be the Truth. What better running mate for the Messiah than the Anti-Christ himself. The guy can garner support among moderates who believe in libertarianism, which would greatly assist Obama in his quest to gain the votes of the .00001 percent of voters who are still undecided. Bob Barr what? Obama’s weakness is foreign policy, and the Truth would deliver by bringing his experience as ambassador to the Hey-Hey to the table. I’m convinced that if asked, the Truth would respond with a “yeah” immediately.

The thing about the Truth though is that he could be McCain’s guy too. McCain’s age is an issue, and the Truth could assist by bringing a youthful vibrancy, displayed repeatedly by his lust for all things shots (at Brothers). The Truth would also help shore up voters who fret over McCain’s economic prowess. If you buy a round of shots, you should do it early (during Happy Hour when everyone is drinking beers) and often (high volume, one tip for many shots). One lingering question mark about the Truth, however, would be his refusal to race the Mayor. No doubt, the guy appears to fear competing for a spot in the executive branch.

Middle of the Road

No discussion of a VP candidate for Obama can go without mention of The Godfather. I know, I know…you’re saying “but the Godfather hates Obama!” Get this though … he would help Obama shore up the remaining 4% of the African American vote (little known fact, but the Godfather loves Alan Keyes). Some might question the Godfather’s ability to lead in these times of crisis, but anyone who’s been at 185 when the vapids comprise 80 percent of the crowd would agree …the Godfather is a crowd pleaser who is capable of saving the day.

The Unknown

One candidate wouldn’t even be worth mentioning, but for the fact that he is so unknown. That’s right … McGinley (aka, ghost, lobster, dude with dog named Glimmer, Dubai Dubya, etc.). Many might question a choice like McGinley. No doubt he would not be a fit for Obama. But for McCain, it might work. His mastery of the magic undies could prove useful out West, where the undies are quite magical. Still, no one has seen his face for six months, almost as long as my own hiatus from America, causing many to question his dedication to the ideals of our nation.

Bottom of the Barrel

Seth. Yes, I said it. Seth. His unconventional ascension into American politics is little known and for good reason. Those who know him know his closet is awash in skeletons. Nonetheless, Seth possesses a zest for life and mint julips, which no doubt would assist either candidate in Kentucky. Seth has declared in recent weeks that he is not just “open” to accepting an offer to run for VP … he’s begging for it. In an effort to demonstrate his value to a campaign, Seth was in town for McCain’s visit to Schmidt’s. To demonstrate his credentials for VP, Seth ordered a round of shots and brought them over to McCain’s table. McCain seemed to enjoy Seth’s assertiveness, and the two downed a couple lemon drops in a sign of friendship. Rumors have spread, however, that Seth proceeded to order rounds upon rounds of shots for the entire restaurant, charging all of it to “the campaign” long past McCain’s exit from the establishment. When asked, the McCain comment offered no comment. Seth denies any wrongdoing, and in fact has asked that the McCain camp assist him in paying down his credit card debt, ala Hillary Clinton. Surely, Seth is bottom of the barrel, but with Lieberman’s apparent unwillingness to run, Seth would be a great 108th option to garner support among a group of voters long tied to the Democrat party.

That’s it for this week. Peace.

misterendy's column runs every Monday.

He accomplished getting out there

Saw "The Dark Knight" on Tuesday night. Pretty good. Not the best movie I've seen this year, and honestly, I liked the first one better. The character of the Joker was awesome.

the Truth liked the movie a little more than me. I mean, I liked it. I'd recommend it but I went in thinking it'd be the best movie of all-time.

Truth and I got to talking about it last night.

Conversation went as followed:

Truth: I wish I got what Heath Ledger has.

AMG: Death?

Truth: Well, ha HA, no. He was out there. He accomplished getting out there.

Quite an accomplishment.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Goin' deep on sluts

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

A buddy of mine hooked up with a female with a pretty face and some softball thighs a few months ago at Brothers. She was a good sport. Mainly because she liked hooking up and probably played a sport (softball).

Went to Brothers again last night for dollar drafts with the "I'll cut your nuts off if you don't do this shot" Truth. Had four beers before heading back to Club 185 for another beer and shot. But not a shot of beer. I'm not a pussy.

I see Softball Thighs last night grinding up on some other dude near the dance floor. I immediately shot a text to my buddy. This was before the finger-banging and face sucking we'd all witness over the next 20 minutes.

The the Truth ran into some huge black dude and tried to help up all these girls that kept tripping and falling. Perhaps a drink might make them feel better? the Truth is a gentleman.

All this got me to thinking about Eric Clapton. Obviously. Sluts and dollar drafts ALWAYS remind me of 63-year-old English guitarists.

Clapton got married a few years back to a Columbus girl that graduated from Watterson. I think in 1997. Slowhand did all right for himself. The chica probably isn't 30 yet.

I don't think this is his first marriage. I'm not sure but I'd be willing to make a wager. Like my life.

So, if he ever plays "Wonderful Tonight" and she's in attendance and he looks over at her, does that bother her? I mean. The song wasn't written about her. That's just another perk of being a rock star. You can use the same song over and over again on any number of ladies. And no one can really bust your balls about it.

It's sort of song-writing slutting.

Is slutting even a bad thing? What is it? Does making out at a bar constitute being a slut? Or is jt just slutty behavior? What if it's with a new guy or girl (or both ... SHORT NORTH!) every time? Can repeated slutty behavior make you a slut?

Either way, Softball Thighs is 2 for 2 in hooking up at Brothers in the two times that I've gone.

That's a very high batting average.

Where memories are made

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

In the context of living in the German Village, and having a group of people I'm used to seeing, this will be the weekend I'll look back on in say, "you know, that summer of 2008 wasn't too bad."

I'm having a great summer. Even-yeared summers are awesome. Yeared probably isn't a word but might come in handy if you ever need to rhyme a non-word with beard.

Sometimes memories fade together and it feels like things lasted longer than they actually did or that you did shit like that all the time. Two examples are the summer of '06. (I'll get to the other one later in this 'graph.) Hurricane Ifene only really hung out with us for six weeks that summer. It felt like 30. That's not a bad thing. It's not that that time made the summer seem longer in a bad way, it's just I feel like we all have a lot more memories than just six weeks. I mean, fuck. Another is Friday Guyday. Like I'll look back at this spring and think, "man, we always would do the Friday Guyday thing!" We did it three times.

Enough background.

So on Friday night, we went to Gresso's (Lindey's West on that night), High Beck and then Patio. I saw mostly everyone I usually see. I talked to the same people I normally talk to. the Truth got mad when you didn't want to do shots. I ran into two girls at Patio that I've been talking to recently. This chick from Arizona State and this other girl from St. Patrick's Day. I like St. Patrick's Day Girl (SPDG). But she looks different every time I see her. She's a hair stylist. Her hair always looks different. Sometimes shorter hair, sometimes longer, sometimes blonde, sometimes red, sometimes dark. I talked with her for a bit, chilled with the ASU sophomore and then headed home around 4 a.m. Miss July was sleeping on the couch. Maybe she didn't want me to pee on her again. Walking down the steps would have been tough in my state. Great FUCKING night. But that's not the real story.

(SIDE NOTE ABOUT GRESSO'S: I am looking at this dude in a Gresso's shirt and go, "dude, that guy LOOKS LIKE HE SHOULD BE WORKING AT GRESSO'S. And then said, "THAT GUY LOOKS LIKE A GRESSO." The Godfather's correct response? "That is Gresso.")

After about 10 minutes of negativo Godfather at dinner earlier that night, the guy was in a great mood all night. We saw more NJAG-Blinders action. To new readers: Blinders is whenever someone ignores everyone else except their love interest. We met cool Milwaukee Brewers fans at the High Beck, got to see Gahannastan and tons of the Good Lookings at the Patio. The night didn't end. It just kept going.

the Truth also had the greatest toast of all time when he toasted to "getting things back to the way they used to be." Might have been the first time anyone's also refused to toast because of the toast. I've heard a lot of toasts before, but that's the first one to ever involve looking to go back to the past. It's not something the Obama campaign ever would endorse. That's for sure. the Truth's intent was fine. It's just how he said it it kind of made people look around.

Even saw Johnny K and the usual group of hot chicks he's around.

Can't beat the Patio on a warm night in July.

And years from now, when I'm bitching about the shitty summer of 2011 or whatever, I'll think back to this summer and the nights we spent at the Patio and I might throw up a toast to the "way things used to be."

A big, a big hot sun

People are stupid.

The sun is in the northeast corner of the Columbus sky around 9:02 a.m. It's basically in the Youngstown of the big blue. God knows the sun never shines in Youngstown. Seriously, God knows. He's the one who created the sun and such.

So let's say you're driving due north on a busy two-lane commercial road. Speed limit is 45 miles per hour. Those people with little man's disease (cops) are notorious f.o.r hanging out there and issuing speeding tickets. Most people go about 50 or 51 MPH.

The fuck is someone doing walking RIGHT AGAINST THE SIDE OF THE ROAD about two inches from oncoming traffic? Trying to smell the coffee-breath of those passing by? Hoping for a one-second hand job?!? Unless you have a death wish, how about walking a few, oh I don't know, feet from the passing cars? The guy probably walked at least a mile and endured 11 or 12 near death experiences. His blatant "it's legal but fucking retarded to walk here" resulted in 11 or 12 left-of-center violations.

People, people, people.

Well, they got me to July. I know I've called the season over before. I know other people have too. Well, this is really it. The Pure Suck Tribe is 10.5 games out with about 80 games to go. It's over. Not even I will watch them every night. I likely won't watch another game from first pitch to final out. How Andy Marte and Jeremy Sowers are on a major league roster is beyond me and probably everyone else in baseball, except for the Indians front office. In the past seven months, I've announced the Indians to have four games in which they have a zero percent chance of winning: Game 7 of the ALCS, a Wednesday afternoon home game in May against the White Sox, a Thursday night game in June at Colorado and last night's 9-7 loss to Chicago (beating was far worse than the score indicated). They're 0-4 in those games. One good note from last night? Jim Thome officially passed Rasheed Wallace as No. 2 on my all-time least favorite athlete list. The list?

1. Michael Jordan
2. Jim Thome
3. Rasheed Wallace

When you add those in the industry, the list grows to include Art Modell, Markie Shy-pie-row and Eric Ass Wedge.

The gap between the top three athletes and the rest is so great that I don't even care to continue with the list.

The Truth texted me last night about heading to "the Club." I stayed in most of the night save for some time I dilly-dallied around Schiller Park. It may not rain today. That's unreal.

It's also July 1. The year is about half over.

The Tribe's season? That's all over.

- Compiled by Art McGregor