USC 35, Oh** St*t* 3

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

What a pisser.

I've made a few mistakes. Like today. And I've only been up since 9 a.m. No power in my office! Whoot. Whoot. OK, OK ... here's a third WHOOT.

Now take those mistakes and ... you get the point. An exponential amount of mistakes Arthur C. McGregor has piled up through the years. Even when I tell people I'm 26. That's still a lot of years.

With a toe in the Pacific Ocean on Friday morning, I felt grounded. I made a mistake. I should have lived in California at some point.

Felt at home. My dad noticed and said as much. He told me, "you should live out here. You'd fit in."

It's simple. It's more laid back. I don't know how to quantify that but being in Hermosa Beach and Newport Beach (RIP Marissa Cooper) and Manhattan Beach, I felt good. The weather is perfect. People kind of drift around. No one seems in a hurry to do anything. Everyone seems happy. There's no clocks anywhere. It's never too warm. It's never too cold. I made a mistake.

So did Ohio State. They god damn sucked on Saturday night. I'm sure you've heard by now. No need to go further.

Fuck USC fans. Yes, there are tons of good ones ... and the fans tailgating (for the most part) were amazingly nice. And every girl with a "THETA '08" T-shirt was just amazing. I made sure to yell at most of them.

The tailgate was awesome. Much like what you see in movies. Makes sense being that the game was in L.A. Also, it's like what it'd be like if people could tailgate on the oval. Tons of mini tents and grills, walkways, footballs being passed around. The band and Song Girls marching around. Um. Heaven. Me and The Dr. (and Hammer) loved it. We ate at least 600 pieces of chicken that our boy Vinnie made for us. No utensils either. We had to look hot. About 13 beers deep, eating grilled chicken (on the bone) with our fingers. No napkins.

Also, NO open container rules. You could pretty much just drink wherever. Didn't see Utah or The Mayor. Saw TR O'Bannon and his former flame. The flame showed up at his tailgate? (Cheap Trick?)

God, I'm good.

Fans at the game were ASSHOLES. When they come to Ohio next year, no mercy. Treat every one of them (about 12 will travel) with complete hatred. We owe them nothing. They rubbed it in as worse as I've ever heard. I went to a Browns-Steelers playoff game in '03 and the Steeler fans weren't that bad.

I wish I had more trips like that with my dad. That's the awesome part. We had a great time. Other than the USC girls, the best part of the trip.

Tons of Buckeyes made the trip out there. We represented. At least off the field.

Will I ever go to a road game? Yes. I love it. Even if we lost, it was still awesome being there and seeing something new. The Dr. and I ogled and bullshitted (spelling?) with hotties for seven or eight hours pre-game. We made fun of people, yelled at people and made new friends. We combined to buy 90 beers at a combined price of around $90. We drank about 60 of them between the three of us.

The Browns blew on Sunday but what else is new. I told you they had a ZERO PERCENT chance of winning. I have NEVER missed when I said ZERO PERCENT chance of winning. LISTEN TO ME PEOPLE. A Cleveland team will NEVER win anything. NEVER.

Watched most of the NFL on Sunday at a bar called GRUNIONS. Legit had some Internet porn chicks in there with big dudes that look like Billy Walsh from "Entourage" only with crazy mustaches and bigger.

4.5 stars out of five for the trip.

Can't wait for 11.8.08. (Northwestern trip.)

Ohio State 43, YSU 0

(Jessica is 18.)

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

The above girl goes to community college near Arizona State. She might be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and would give up 10 years of my life for three or four dates with her. I'd give up five years for one date (with a guarantee she'd put out).

I bring this up because I saw The 1 yesterday after 63 days (nine weeks). It was fantastic to see him. He was wearing an Arizona State hat and will be heading out to ASU on Thursday, Sept. 18. He'll be going to the Georgia-ASU game (football).

The 1 gets Week 1 MVP Honors. He brought us back to The Tailgate Behind Tommy's Pizza (TTBTP ... BTB for short). But first, here's some more pictures of Jessica and friends.

(Skinnier than Art McGregor ... combined.)

(They are good at being hot freshmen.)

BTB is the new VC. I thoroughly enjoyed The Varsity Club, but BTB had free food, free beer, a television, nice people and good looking women. Also free food and free beer. The trio from the get go included The 1, the Truth and Art McGregor. Disappointed I didn't see the rest of The 1's posse that includes His Girlfriend (blog name), Three Clicks (formerly Toe), Powder, Johnny K and Hot D. Anytime I see Hot D, he will be MVP of the Week. He's the guy who asked me to write his autobiography. He also implored people to "flip that shit" when buying houses and doesn't know what that means.

Before I recap the day, I need to say how great it is to get back into Seeing The People You Normally See During Football Season. Guys like TUG and T-MUG (Tall More Unfriendly Guy) and chicks like Sis, Gahannastan and the rest of their group. Also known as The People I Used To See All The Time At Club 185 In The Winter And Fall Of 2006. Also saw TD Hoodie and Peaches at The Varsity Club and beyond.

Anytime we end up at Four Kegs things are not good. Had lunch and our fantasy football draft today at Planks on Whittier. the Truth (not in the league but at the draft) and I were legit surprised to hear we went to Four Kegs. It wasn't a wise choice. We did a Jager Bomb there. I think that was the Truth's idea. I also ran into a girl from college who thinks I'm crazy and/or stalking her. I remembered her first and last name, what classes we had together and where she went to high school. I think I talked to her twice in college. I always sort of hope I run into this hot Jewish chick named Brittany (spelling?) from college. I haven't since our last JCOM 315 class in Fall 2000. She was a big Gore supporter (obviously) but I don't let that bother me. Maybe I'll see her next week. That would be tits (even though her's were small). As you can tell with Jessica, I am not a boobs guy even though people have called me a boob. Actually they haven't. But being called a boob would be funny.

I think we got to Four Kegs around 10 p.m. It could be anywhere from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. I made it home at 1 a.m. after eating 32,212 peanuts at a random party. After The Godfather climbed to the top of a dirt mountain on 16th Avenue, I celebrated by falling on the pavement and banging my head ("I could hear it" - The Godfather) on the sidewalk. It still fucking hurts.

We ate in the ballpark of 20-25 beers apiece. I also ate a ball park hot dog. I'm not a beer-counter-guy but I had about eight at the tailgate, seven or eight more at the Varsity Club, two or three at B-Dubs, two or three at Four Kegs, a Jager Bomb and then a couple more walking down the street and at various parties where girls kicked us out. No one likes to see that.

Day started out innocently enough. Drove to the game with The Godfather and a German, High School Foreign Exchange Student. Met up with The 1 at BTP at around noon. He said I looked great and "not skinny enough." I missed The 1 and the way he asks questions and says things. His take on Sarah Palin? "Is this lady girl really ready to be president." He still claims to be an "undecided" voter.

Got to love T-MUG and the tailgate. Had a great time. Genuinely nice people that are fun to talk to. I could just text this to The 1 but I'll say it here instead: Remind me to give you a case of Miller Lite for next week. I'll be there in the third quarter of the OSU-OU game. And maybe for a beer or two beforehand.

For all the making fun of frat guys I do, they get the hot chicks. Most girls at this tailgate were hot. That's amazing. Free beer, hot women (I think I referred to them as "Stepfords" although that's kind of derogatory) and Wavy Lays Potato Chips. Yum to all of the above.

Additional props to Sis for rocking the light hair. Loved it. Almost made up for not seeing Hot D. Almost. Didn't like her light blue shirt though. Shirt was fine but light blue? I know you're not an OSU alum, but come on. Support the team.

the Truth had many Truth-like comments on John McCain and other things. His reason for McCain's trouble at raising his arms? "They didn't have the good candy when he was a little kid. You know he's probably eating black licorice and rhubarb flavored things."

Headed over to The VC around 4 p.m. Loved the crew there. Saw TD Hoodie and Peaches. Peaches looked awesome. Sweet sunglasses, kick ass hair, cool T-shirt. Girl has style. Hoodie had a tight T-shirt on.

I'm kind of worn out telling this story. Need a break. OK, back.

I didn't really take a break there. But you can't tell that.

How we got to B-Dubs, I'll never know. Did we take a helicopter? Police escort? Cab? Walk? Probably the latter. Ran into Rainbow Bright and others. Headband wasn't there. Huh?

Saw a friend of a girl I used to know. She said, "I'll tell her you said hi." I said, "don't do that."

1. I didn't say hi.
2. I thought it was funny to not say hello. It seemed wise at the time.

Stayed at B-Dubs for awhile. Good chatting with Rainbow Bright, as that's what we do in football season. The Godfather's brother, the Mathlete, also was around. He added to fun.

I can't believe we didn't see The Mayor. I loved the group yesterday though. It was good Truth, happy The Godfather, fun Mathlete and Mathlete's underage girlfriend. I like having her around because it increases our chances of seeing other underage girls.

Then we marched around campus doing stupid shit and climbing dirt mountains, and tackling each other and ripping our shirts off and eating things and smoking funny things (oops ... Kid Rock reference).

The area over my left eye is killing me. Fuuuck. I am dead. I feel like shit. The 10,000 french fries I ate at Planks are not helping.

the Truth wants to go out tonight but I think I'll pass and just have a few drinks here. Some will be water.

I cannot fucking believe how much fun we had yesterday. Looking forward to next week.

And maybe running into that Britney (spelling?) girl.