Passin' me by

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

I like the song "Heartache Tonight" because it reminds me of how a lot of nights end when they begin with a drink.

Tonight's a day where that will happen especially in large numbers. Other than St. Patrick's Day (on a Tuesday this year ... five-day weekend!) and New Year's Eve, there's not a night where more people are out "actin' the fool" as the kids in Dublin and Worthington say.

Tonight usually sucks, though. That's the thing. I prefer the night after Thanksgiving. I prefer the week around Christmas.

There's too many people out in the hours before turkeys go into the over. There's too many "pissed off looking" girls. Homies, what's the deal? Fucking smile. You're off work tomorrow. Tomorrow's a legit fun day. You made the choice to go out. You have to understand (by now) that there will be a lot, A LOT of guys out. If you're not totally disgusting, guys will notice you and think in their heads, "I want to fuck that chick." Some might act on the notion. Others (like me) will just stare uncomfortably. Deal with it or stay in. Have a "girls night" at someone's house. Why the fuck are you out if you're going to stand there looking pissed at the world? Go the fuck home. My hand. Your face.

There's too many chachie dudes. There's not enough people like Art McGregor, followers and staffers at the German Village Media Family of Networks because most people like us are married (by now) and in bed by 11 p.m.

I know I eschew "growing up" and refuse to admit that "things pass me by," but the night before Thanksgiving is something I'm getting too old for. Who's going to be out tonight? People younger than me and maybe that dude from "How I Met Your Mother."

I grew up in a town where everyone gets married by the time they turn 30. Half of me wonders if I'll self destruct when I turn 30. The other half will be self-destructing. The night before Thanksgiving offers nothing for me in Mahoning County. I'm not "feeling it." I used to have a cousin that bartended at the local-where-everyone-goes-out-bar but now he works in Las Vegas. I don't.

But I'll be out tonight.