Monday, January 26, 2009

You with your switchblade posse: KOL concert preview

I'm going to see "Slumdog Millionaire" with The Godfather at 7:50 p.m. and then I'm sticking around for the 10 p.m. showing of "My Bloody Valentine: 3D." I've got to be the only guy in the eastern time zone to accomplish such a feat this evening. I also should call my mom as I haven't talked to her since Friday.

I tell you this because I'm going to throw together a quick preview of the Kings of Leon concert. I have been thinking about this since driving around Columbus earlier this evening looking for a brush to remove snow from my car. I don't have one. Smart buying decisions in my first 30 years. Those things are expensive. I paid $11.99 for one at the local Shell Station. A woman (slumdog ... not millionaire) asked me for 50 cents and I said, "Obama's bringing the change." That's my new favorite slogan. (H/t The Godfather.)

I've found these set lists for three Kings of Leon shows in the past week. If I get a replay of the Indianapolis show, I'm going to be excited. If it's Chicago II, I'll be unexcited. It's likely the first time anyone's been more excited with Indianapolis than Chicago.

As for a pre-game, I believe we're going to the Garage Bar (the old Adobe Gilas next to The Lodge Bar) prior to walking over to the LC. Some people are calling for six to nine inches and I tell them they're correct. Also, it's supposed to snow anywhere from two to nine inches.

If we're using Indianapolis as a baseline, they'll play 22 songs with seven coming from "Because of the Times (2007)," eight from their new album "Only by the Night" and seven others from their first two or three albums, "Youth and Young Manhood," "Aha Shake Heartbreak" and "Holy Roller Novacaine (EP)."

That's pretty fine with me as I tend to like the "newer" Kings of Leon stuff more than their older, raw (RAWR means "I love you") sound. Don't get me wrong, I love Taper Jean Girl (I mean, the chorus includes a line that says, "cunts wash their bodies"), The Bucket (the first Kings of Leon song I ever heard. This was on Oct. 22, 2005. It was a Saturday night. Fanny the Cocktail Waitress was playing it at Club 185), and Molly's Chambers because there is the stunningly gorgeous hippie-esque bartender at Hendoc's by the name of Molly and I'd bet my life savings or at least my two-year old Blackberry that she loves Kings of Leon. I also love this Molly girl because as is the case with most attractive girls, she's borderline unfriendly but my cousin Sean said he went to Hendoc's one day this fall and they had a "bartender with the deepest green eyes." He said he fell in love.


Sadly a bar always will come between my pistol and Molly's chambers. The Kings aren't always subtle.

Still, other than Iron & Wine who's first album sounds better than his newer stuff because it's so raw, I tend to like groups with a more polished sound.

There's a few songs I'd love to hear but have heard they flat-out don't play them. I think we've got a zero percent chance of hearing Ragoo or California Waiting. I understand that.

I'm shocked to find out they don't play McFearless. If they played this after Taper Jean Girl or Sex on Fire, I think less athletic white guys than me in the crowd would be jumping so high they could dunk a basketball or two. This is saying a lot because I can barely get net. This is outstanding live concert music.

Penis size innuendo? Check. Talking about a random bartender and calling her out by name? Check. Complaining about a music selection? Check.

Moving on.

Another song I'll have major beef with is Trani. I don't mind listening to this song after I've had about 600 beers while being passed a lit up left-handed cigarette in an alley behind a bar after an Ohio State game, but live? I have a feeling this is going to be an epic buzzkill. I guess the end kinda rocks a little bit, but I can go without hearing it tomorrow night. Still, can you think of a bar in the German Village the opening verse reminds you of:

"Dirty belly of a secret town
Cheap trick hookers that are hanging out at the bar near the Greyhound station
And the bare-chested boys are going down on every thing that the momma believes
Pack of smokes and a little bump of cocaine, help you feel not so strange"

Shit. Maybe that's actually the High Beck.

Actually I'm just a pretty big phony because I'd rather hear Cold Desert if they play something slow that makes you want to kill yourself kind of like when douchebags play (awesome swimmer) Jeff Buckley songs on jukeboxes at fun bars. I'm looking at you, Club 185 patrons! I just like hearing depressing songs (especially this one ... "JESUS DON'T LOVE ME") because it reminds me that I've lived a real tough life but actually I haven't and I pretty much have things handed to me all the time despite being rather selfish and totally self-centered.

I have high expectations. Not of the High Beck, but of going to the show. It's going to be a fun night. Rick Sonbreath's in, Hoodie's probably with an illness and Peaches has completed the trifecta (text message, e-mail and Facebook message ... talkin' on the phone is for suckers) in telling me ways she's excited for the show.

Hope to see you there tomorrow.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

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