You with your switchblade posse: KOL concert preview

I'm going to see "Slumdog Millionaire" with The Godfather at 7:50 p.m. and then I'm sticking around for the 10 p.m. showing of "My Bloody Valentine: 3D." I've got to be the only guy in the eastern time zone to accomplish such a feat this evening. I also should call my mom as I haven't talked to her since Friday.

I tell you this because I'm going to throw together a quick preview of the Kings of Leon concert. I have been thinking about this since driving around Columbus earlier this evening looking for a brush to remove snow from my car. I don't have one. Smart buying decisions in my first 30 years. Those things are expensive. I paid $11.99 for one at the local Shell Station. A woman (slumdog ... not millionaire) asked me for 50 cents and I said, "Obama's bringing the change." That's my new favorite slogan. (H/t The Godfather.)

I've found these set lists for three Kings of Leon shows in the past week. If I get a replay of the Indianapolis show, I'm going to be excited. If it's Chicago II, I'll be unexcited. It's likely the first time anyone's been more excited with Indianapolis than Chicago.

As for a pre-game, I believe we're going to the Garage Bar (the old Adobe Gilas next to The Lodge Bar) prior to walking over to the LC. Some people are calling for six to nine inches and I tell them they're correct. Also, it's supposed to snow anywhere from two to nine inches.

If we're using Indianapolis as a baseline, they'll play 22 songs with seven coming from "Because of the Times (2007)," eight from their new album "Only by the Night" and seven others from their first two or three albums, "Youth and Young Manhood," "Aha Shake Heartbreak" and "Holy Roller Novacaine (EP)."

That's pretty fine with me as I tend to like the "newer" Kings of Leon stuff more than their older, raw (RAWR means "I love you") sound. Don't get me wrong, I love Taper Jean Girl (I mean, the chorus includes a line that says, "cunts wash their bodies"), The Bucket (the first Kings of Leon song I ever heard. This was on Oct. 22, 2005. It was a Saturday night. Fanny the Cocktail Waitress was playing it at Club 185), and Molly's Chambers because there is the stunningly gorgeous hippie-esque bartender at Hendoc's by the name of Molly and I'd bet my life savings or at least my two-year old Blackberry that she loves Kings of Leon. I also love this Molly girl because as is the case with most attractive girls, she's borderline unfriendly but my cousin Sean said he went to Hendoc's one day this fall and they had a "bartender with the deepest green eyes." He said he fell in love.

Family.

Sadly a bar always will come between my pistol and Molly's chambers. The Kings aren't always subtle.

Still, other than Iron & Wine who's first album sounds better than his newer stuff because it's so raw, I tend to like groups with a more polished sound.

There's a few songs I'd love to hear but have heard they flat-out don't play them. I think we've got a zero percent chance of hearing Ragoo or California Waiting. I understand that.

I'm shocked to find out they don't play McFearless. If they played this after Taper Jean Girl or Sex on Fire, I think less athletic white guys than me in the crowd would be jumping so high they could dunk a basketball or two. This is saying a lot because I can barely get net. This is outstanding live concert music.

Penis size innuendo? Check. Talking about a random bartender and calling her out by name? Check. Complaining about a music selection? Check.

Moving on.

Another song I'll have major beef with is Trani. I don't mind listening to this song after I've had about 600 beers while being passed a lit up left-handed cigarette in an alley behind a bar after an Ohio State game, but live? I have a feeling this is going to be an epic buzzkill. I guess the end kinda rocks a little bit, but I can go without hearing it tomorrow night. Still, can you think of a bar in the German Village the opening verse reminds you of:

"Dirty belly of a secret town
Cheap trick hookers that are hanging out at the bar near the Greyhound station
And the bare-chested boys are going down on every thing that the momma believes
Pack of smokes and a little bump of cocaine, help you feel not so strange"

Shit. Maybe that's actually the High Beck.

Actually I'm just a pretty big phony because I'd rather hear Cold Desert if they play something slow that makes you want to kill yourself kind of like when douchebags play (awesome swimmer) Jeff Buckley songs on jukeboxes at fun bars. I'm looking at you, Club 185 patrons! I just like hearing depressing songs (especially this one ... "JESUS DON'T LOVE ME") because it reminds me that I've lived a real tough life but actually I haven't and I pretty much have things handed to me all the time despite being rather selfish and totally self-centered.

I have high expectations. Not of the High Beck, but of going to the show. It's going to be a fun night. Rick Sonbreath's in, Hoodie's probably with an illness and Peaches has completed the trifecta (text message, e-mail and Facebook message ... talkin' on the phone is for suckers) in telling me ways she's excited for the show.

Hope to see you there tomorrow.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Download of the day - 1/25/09

Went to this concert in Cleveland in May 1997 called "EndFest." K's Choice, Soul Coughing, Barenaked Ladies and other bands that had a brief bit of popularity between 1996 and 1998 played.

I liked it because most of my high school class attended and I got to grab butts when chicks crowd surfed. It's one of my favorite concert memories. The entire day. Not just the butt grabbing but that also was/is awesome because I attended an upper middle class suburban high school so we had a lot of hot chicks in our grade in 1997-terms. I mostly liked freshman, though.

McGregor mcgregor'd before he became McGregor.

I don't know. Maybe 50? I've been to about 50 concerts in the past 10 years. I think that's a safe estimate. I've seen Pearl Jam three times, Ben Folds/Five three or four times, and in tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny font that also speaks really fast (speaking font!) DaveMatthewsabout10times. Got to see The Beastie Boys in 1998, Death Cab for Cutie twice in the past few years and Billy Joel (seriously). I also saw Grand Funk Railroad a few (more like seven) summers ago and I don't count this among the 50 but Hotel War at Cara Bar where I became aware that hipsters drink PBR and also are pretty friendly. I don't know how they fit into any friendly considering the tightness of their jeans.

Since it's a Sunday and Sundays are fucking terrible, I am going to talk about a few concerts that I did not enjoy. Though they easily are in my top five bands, Iron & Wine and Interpol put on terrible shows. They don't play with any emotion and it sounds exactly like it does on the tapes, vinyl or them fancypants CDs.

Bands that bring it? Death Cab for Cutie puts on the best show (in my opinion), Pearl Jam also is awesome live and Ben Folds is another guy that's entertaining.

I'm going to see Kings of Leon on Tuesday night here in Columbus. I imagine I won't be the only one with longish hair, tight jeans and a plaid, flannel shirt. I'm going with TD Hoodie, Peaches and That Guy with The Same Name as the Truth. I hope The 1 can make it. Haven't seen him in awhile and don't really want to wait until next Sunday when we go to The Little Bar to watch the Steelers win the Super Bowl.

Got 2 believe that Kings of Leon are going to put on an amazing show. I don't even expect to grab any butts (other than my own if it itches which is highly unlikely because it really only itches if I sit on something wet).

Tonight I'm giving you two songs. They both are on Kings of Leon's 2007 album "Because of the Times." If you like rock music, you'll like the first song. It's called McFearless. I love how it sounds but it's not one of my favorites because it really doesn't tell a story and I tend to like songs with lyrics that remind me of myself because I'm really self-centered.

The first single on that album was On Call. I love On Call because it reminds me of the summer of 2007 and more specifically driving to work in the morning.

I'm not sure what the song means and maybe it's just a song about friendship where one person is willing to do whatever for another person. Since I don't live this way, I take the song to be about a guy that lets a girl walk all over him and won't ever do anything about it and always will "be there waiting."

You know, it's like I've said before ... you can't do anything to make a person like you more or less and whatever that person does to you won't make you like them any less.

Plus it's one of their slower songs and I tend to like slower, mellower tunes.

This line reminded me of the girl I spent 2007 obsessing over:

"When I fall to pieces, Lord you know, I'll be there laughing."

I like the "laughing" because it reminds that even though I knew exactly what was going on with the girl (needed to "find herself" and started dating a bartender in a strip mall that wears Affliction shirts less than two months later), I still subjected myself to it and knew I was making a giant mistake but didn't really care. Girls can make you D.O. strange things.

- From the desk of Art McGregor