Ohio State 34, Minnesota 21

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

Rainbow Bright got mad at me for calling out a weekend a few weeks back. I said it was just an OK weekend. Let me explain something. I grade weekends on a curve. The grade has nothing to ... well, very little to do ... with people.

I gave this past weekend a non-A because it was sunny and hot, I got too drunk too quick and not having The Godfather around also didn't help. Also, The Stalker showed up at The Pole (The Varsity Club's, not my own) and just stood there while no one talked to her.

Weekend ended with a trip to Gay Kroger to buy stamps and I ran into The Biggest Slut Who Lives In The German Village. She of course did not say hello. She goes to the "Waitresses at The EGG School of Wearing a Scowl on your Face at All Times."

After the high school football game, I met McGinley, SHG, P Gritty and The Godfather at the Hey Hey. Then we went to High Beck. On a Friday. I'm ... hopefully a one-time occurrence. Also played some Keno with McCampus at the Hey Hey. I saw more McCampus this weekend than I have since the McGregor-McCampus Hey Day of February 2007, the month after his infamous "eat a dick, blog it" text. We also saw DJ AM that night. RIP.

We then went to The Patio and I think we all were tired. Going to the Hey Hey and sitting at a low top at High Beck can do that to a person. Also, I had a busy week. I've chronicled it but I had very little time to just lay around and do nothing. I was at full-go all week. I could being full-go as going to my sister's and watching two television shows on Monday night. Friday night's tiredness spilled over into the weekend.

I can't express how much fun I had at the game. Sitting next to McGinley and The 1 is a real treat. People around us HAD to hate us. We're completely rude and don't stop talking. We're not usually talking about the game. Or anything really. We must have said "BOOM" Herron at least 347 times. The 1 also experience a voice cracking (ala a 14-year-old boy) when singing "Seven Nation Army."

He's going to Wichita.

The Mayor came and stayed for ONE PLAY. Not quite sure what was up with that, but that had to suck.

I went to The Blackwell postgame with The 1 and had a beer with my dad. Met The 1's friend New Edition. New Edition is a great guy. Between Powder, Johnny K, Hot D and New Edition, The 1 has some great friends.

Hung out with Rainbow Bright, McCampus, The Mayor and such at the VC. The sun rendered me utterly useless. I don't remember much. I remember seeing the Truth. Those past two sentences go hand in hand. The 1 and I got into a cab, dropped off the Truth and headed back to the German Village. I showered, semi-sobered up, ate a packet of peanut butter crackers and went back out to Four Kegs with The Godfather, Mathlete and friends. McGinley (not drinking this fall) dropped us off.

I ate a soft pretzel and those crackers on Saturday. Combined with the 14 beers and five shots, I completely have ZERO recollection of anything that happened after 11 o'clock on Saturday night. I houdini'd on myself. I like that we were walking down a dark alley and then I went missing and The Godfather later recounted that he didn't do anything about it. What's up with that?!?!

I need a break. I am so relieved we have a road game this weekend. I've done heavy boozing 10 out of the past 11 days. It's a bender. I REALLY NEED TO TAKE THREE DAYS OFF.

I had a really enjoyable Sunday a B-Dubs Lane. More to follow.

Song you will hear me singing a lot

Just be prepared to hear me and The Godfather sing this song at least 400 times this month.

Maybe you already heard me scream it last night at Four Kegs.

You can catch it all on G-V-M (family of networks).

- From the desk of Art McGregor

Ohio State 28, Troy 10

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

A couple hundred times this weekend I heard something and thought, "that'd be an awesome headline on the blog!"

But The Godfather pointed out:

"That's the bad thing about hanging out with the Truth. You never remember anything."

I walked back to The Mayor's house this morning to pick up my car. It was still there from Friday night. the Truth gave us a ride home on Friday night. German Village ain't exactly Jacksonville, Fla. when it comes to land mass.

"I might run out of gas," said the Truth, as he dropped me off about .7 miles (a 10-minute walk) from my house.

I sent a text to The Godfather early yesterday morning that said, "let's go to the EGG as early as possible."

I left the EGG last night around 11 p.m. Obviously, I was there still drinking as the theme of the day seemed to be "Yes, I'll have another beer." I rolled up a $38 tab on beer only. On a Sunday. You need it when watching the Browns.

I really think I've had two seminal moments since moving back to The German Village in 2005:

A Seeing The Mayor (black North Face) and The Godfather (gray Ohio State hoodie) at Club 185 on Friday, Oct. 28, 2005 and B the time at The EGG when The 1 said, "we're staying here until dusk."

You deserve to have Sunday Fundays. You should be out there drinking. Think back to that Sunday in July when you sat around, didn't shower, flipped channels for seven hours and struggled to fall asleep at night because you were so inactive throughout the course of the day.

The Godfather left the EGG at about 7:30 p.m. last night. I went over and talked to The EGG Guys for about two hours before they left. I just sat at the bar and watched the Yankees game and a little of the Packers game. I sent too many text messages to an old girlfriend in Baltimore.

When it all started, it was all good.

I walked into The Mayor's on Friday night and saw McCampus.

"You used to get a lot more excited to see me," he said.

True story. Dot org.

Seeing him was great as he pretty much says the funniest things ever. We (of course) retreated into the living room to watch baseball highlights on mute.

In that same way, it was good to have a funny text message exchange with The 1 throughout the weekend. I don't remember any of them.

That's the truth. And the Truth.

One person I did not see or hear from this weekend was NJAG. On Friday, Aug. 8 I went over her house and ate Tostitos. Then we went to The Patio. Then she said she wanted to get food at 185 and I didn't (already had had the corn chips), so she left and I haven't heard from her since.

For the first time since Thursday, Aug. 28, I went to The Patio. Ended up there on Saturday night. I had a blast on Saturday.

"I can't wait for next Saturday," I said to The Godfather Parents yesterday at lunch at Mad Mex.

Mad Mex? Eh. I thought a steak taco was just like a normal taco. I thought a taco had steak meat in it. It doesn't. Did like the rice though.

The key to Saturday was constant movement after laying around all day until 3 p.m. Got to V.C. at 3:45 p.m. and spent an hour or so talking to this Hot Jill Girl and her mom and thinking, "I can't believe I used to have sleepovers with this girl. (daughter not mom)"

Seeing Johnny K was awesome and he made small talk with the mom. I told him, "You smell like the beach!" He did. That's the awesome thing about Johnny K. He always looks like he just got home from the beach. In Ohio.

Spent a lot of time at the inside/outside bar at The Varsity Club. The Intern's brother played baseball at Ohio State a few years back so he was surrounded by the hottest chicks in the history of Columbus. I just stayed there for about an hour.

Went back outside and talked to The Doctor. Bringing girlfriends to Ohio State games is a great idea. Sarcasm is the act of lying on purpose.

Also chatted with a really ugly (not nice) Canadian (!!) chick for about 20 minutes. It could have been six minutes. We discussed Wayne Gretzky and what I was doing later that night. She was probably 32 but looked 43. I prefer when they're 18 and look 16.

Kinda fooled around with a really drunk chick for a little bit who stumbled and fell. Like. On the ground. She was so drunk she fell over.

Walked up to B-Dubs (after pledgin' NEVER AGAIN) and met up with The Godfather and two couples. McGinley wasn't in town so The Godfather was not a part of any couple and I wouldn't couple until hours later.

The Godfather actually stole a beer from the bar. He reached over the bar and took it out of the cooler. I've never seen that done before. I love when I see something for the first time.

Felt like I was seeing St. Patrick's Day Girl for the first time. Ran into her at Patio and then we made out (inside bar and then outside bar) in full view of about 200 people. It was my second bar face sucking session of the day. This girl didn't fall over.

She looked amazing. I don't remember her being that good looking. She has a couple upper back/neck TATS that added to the hottness.

Also saw Hooters Girl there and she said hello. She didn't respond to my text yesterday.

The night really kicked off when the Truth rolled into B-Dubs about eight seconds before The Godfather houdini'd to go to a PARTY IN THE GERMAN VILLAGE.

"It was kind of lame," he'd later say. "I kind of dozed off."

Truth and I went to Four Kegs where we talked to chicks about god knows what. Maybe chewing gum? Truth always ALWAYS has gum. Then we hung out in a parking lot behind the bar for five or ten minutes.

"Do you smoke?" McCampus asked Joe Incognito/Esera a night before.

"What? Pot? Meth?" Incognito/Esera responded.

Mayorfest '08 kicked ass. We (like you didn't know!) ended up chucking beer cans at each other and pouring beer on ourselves. This was about 2:10 a.m. It was me, the Truth, The Mayor and The Godfather. Average age? About 32.

I am sure I've leaving a lot out.

I can't wait for next Saturday.

Ohio State 43, YSU 0

(Jessica is 18.)

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

The above girl goes to community college near Arizona State. She might be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and would give up 10 years of my life for three or four dates with her. I'd give up five years for one date (with a guarantee she'd put out).

I bring this up because I saw The 1 yesterday after 63 days (nine weeks). It was fantastic to see him. He was wearing an Arizona State hat and will be heading out to ASU on Thursday, Sept. 18. He'll be going to the Georgia-ASU game (football).

The 1 gets Week 1 MVP Honors. He brought us back to The Tailgate Behind Tommy's Pizza (TTBTP ... BTB for short). But first, here's some more pictures of Jessica and friends.

(Skinnier than Art McGregor ... combined.)

(They are good at being hot freshmen.)

BTB is the new VC. I thoroughly enjoyed The Varsity Club, but BTB had free food, free beer, a television, nice people and good looking women. Also free food and free beer. The trio from the get go included The 1, the Truth and Art McGregor. Disappointed I didn't see the rest of The 1's posse that includes His Girlfriend (blog name), Three Clicks (formerly Toe), Powder, Johnny K and Hot D. Anytime I see Hot D, he will be MVP of the Week. He's the guy who asked me to write his autobiography. He also implored people to "flip that shit" when buying houses and doesn't know what that means.

Before I recap the day, I need to say how great it is to get back into Seeing The People You Normally See During Football Season. Guys like TUG and T-MUG (Tall More Unfriendly Guy) and chicks like Sis, Gahannastan and the rest of their group. Also known as The People I Used To See All The Time At Club 185 In The Winter And Fall Of 2006. Also saw TD Hoodie and Peaches at The Varsity Club and beyond.

Anytime we end up at Four Kegs things are not good. Had lunch and our fantasy football draft today at Planks on Whittier. the Truth (not in the league but at the draft) and I were legit surprised to hear we went to Four Kegs. It wasn't a wise choice. We did a Jager Bomb there. I think that was the Truth's idea. I also ran into a girl from college who thinks I'm crazy and/or stalking her. I remembered her first and last name, what classes we had together and where she went to high school. I think I talked to her twice in college. I always sort of hope I run into this hot Jewish chick named Brittany (spelling?) from college. I haven't since our last JCOM 315 class in Fall 2000. She was a big Gore supporter (obviously) but I don't let that bother me. Maybe I'll see her next week. That would be tits (even though her's were small). As you can tell with Jessica, I am not a boobs guy even though people have called me a boob. Actually they haven't. But being called a boob would be funny.

I think we got to Four Kegs around 10 p.m. It could be anywhere from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. I made it home at 1 a.m. after eating 32,212 peanuts at a random party. After The Godfather climbed to the top of a dirt mountain on 16th Avenue, I celebrated by falling on the pavement and banging my head ("I could hear it" - The Godfather) on the sidewalk. It still fucking hurts.

We ate in the ballpark of 20-25 beers apiece. I also ate a ball park hot dog. I'm not a beer-counter-guy but I had about eight at the tailgate, seven or eight more at the Varsity Club, two or three at B-Dubs, two or three at Four Kegs, a Jager Bomb and then a couple more walking down the street and at various parties where girls kicked us out. No one likes to see that.

Day started out innocently enough. Drove to the game with The Godfather and a German, High School Foreign Exchange Student. Met up with The 1 at BTP at around noon. He said I looked great and "not skinny enough." I missed The 1 and the way he asks questions and says things. His take on Sarah Palin? "Is this lady girl really ready to be president." He still claims to be an "undecided" voter.

Got to love T-MUG and the tailgate. Had a great time. Genuinely nice people that are fun to talk to. I could just text this to The 1 but I'll say it here instead: Remind me to give you a case of Miller Lite for next week. I'll be there in the third quarter of the OSU-OU game. And maybe for a beer or two beforehand.

For all the making fun of frat guys I do, they get the hot chicks. Most girls at this tailgate were hot. That's amazing. Free beer, hot women (I think I referred to them as "Stepfords" although that's kind of derogatory) and Wavy Lays Potato Chips. Yum to all of the above.

Additional props to Sis for rocking the light hair. Loved it. Almost made up for not seeing Hot D. Almost. Didn't like her light blue shirt though. Shirt was fine but light blue? I know you're not an OSU alum, but come on. Support the team.

the Truth had many Truth-like comments on John McCain and other things. His reason for McCain's trouble at raising his arms? "They didn't have the good candy when he was a little kid. You know he's probably eating black licorice and rhubarb flavored things."

Headed over to The VC around 4 p.m. Loved the crew there. Saw TD Hoodie and Peaches. Peaches looked awesome. Sweet sunglasses, kick ass hair, cool T-shirt. Girl has style. Hoodie had a tight T-shirt on.

I'm kind of worn out telling this story. Need a break. OK, back.

I didn't really take a break there. But you can't tell that.

How we got to B-Dubs, I'll never know. Did we take a helicopter? Police escort? Cab? Walk? Probably the latter. Ran into Rainbow Bright and others. Headband wasn't there. Huh?

Saw a friend of a girl I used to know. She said, "I'll tell her you said hi." I said, "don't do that."

1. I didn't say hi.
2. I thought it was funny to not say hello. It seemed wise at the time.

Stayed at B-Dubs for awhile. Good chatting with Rainbow Bright, as that's what we do in football season. The Godfather's brother, the Mathlete, also was around. He added to fun.

I can't believe we didn't see The Mayor. I loved the group yesterday though. It was good Truth, happy The Godfather, fun Mathlete and Mathlete's underage girlfriend. I like having her around because it increases our chances of seeing other underage girls.

Then we marched around campus doing stupid shit and climbing dirt mountains, and tackling each other and ripping our shirts off and eating things and smoking funny things (oops ... Kid Rock reference).

The area over my left eye is killing me. Fuuuck. I am dead. I feel like shit. The 10,000 french fries I ate at Planks are not helping.

the Truth wants to go out tonight but I think I'll pass and just have a few drinks here. Some will be water.

I cannot fucking believe how much fun we had yesterday. Looking forward to next week.

And maybe running into that Britney (spelling?) girl.