Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Objectifying women: Girls of the Big 10 edition

Blog on the Run editor

Impressed? Of course. Overwhelmed? Hardly.

Then again, that's the charm of Ohio State girls. The football team too, now that you mention it.

Other than the contingent of ultra-bitchy 7's (that's a 1 through 10 ranking ... not the number on their women's OSU jersey) that frequents The Varsity Club on home Saturdays, Columbus State Ohio State girls usually are pretty friendly, approachable and into guys with cool hair. At least they were between 2003 and 2007.

Finally had a chance to read the October issue of Playboy. It's "The Girls of the Big 10" collection.

Finding an issue of Playboy is a challenge. Other than bookstores in airports, where do you find one?? I looked in CVS, a grocery store ... and that's about it. But still. I don't see issues of Playboy very often. About 362 days less than I did in 1992.

I had to buy "the digital edition." You can't copy and paste the photos, however. That's nappy.

A trio of Ohio State girls are included in the group of 48 girls. Well, 47 girls and one "other." Sorry, Illini.

I-L-L ... no need for the I-N-I. I'm already ill.

These are not the best Ohio State has to offer. It's not a slight on the following girls, it's just, not every girl is into getting naked on film (or digitally ... my $4.95 says so).

I remember a similar "Girls of the Big 10" came out in 2002 or 2003. I remember this because a girl I worked with at the Olive Garden had a roommate. This roommate worked at Hooters. Her name was Jessie (she looked like a Jessie) and she posed for the magazine. She was damn cute. I remember thinking how cool it was to know someone who posed in Playboy.

Nowadays I'd be more excited to meet someone who's been in "Girls Gone Wild." And none of that fringe "Girls Gone Wild: Dorm Room Fantasies" or whatever. That stuff is porn actresses. I'm talking the real thing. The real thing? Well, you know what I mean. I don't mind enhancements. I remember a girl I will call "Fakey" during the amazing Christmas Vacation of '06. She had talent. She also liked to wear different colors of hair. I remember walking her back to my place from Club 185 one night. She was legit stumbling. I should have just let her go with her friend but McGinley said, "she's fine. Let her walk it off." Thanks, McGinley.

She woke up with the infamous, "what did we do last night?" chorus. Nevermind.

Anyway, the three Buckeyes in Playboy go by fake names. Their fake names are Marie Morgan, Kelsey Evans and Jamie Graham. I don't get the "Jamie Graham" name but whatever. I've seen Ms. Evans and Ms. Morgan out and about in Columbus. They're hot girls. They're the type you remember.

Here they are (remember, I've seen the nudes. Not like famous nudes like "David" or whatever ... though I've heard Dave is magnificent ... the nude photos of these girls ... and Jamie Graham and Kelsey Evans have great pictures in the magazine/digital version):

Jamie Graham:

Kelsey Evans:

Marie Morgan:

I think this Kelsey Evans broad is the best of the trio.

This Marie Morgan character (fake name = character) might be hot, but her picture in Playboy is the nappy angle of just a little nipple from the side and her behind. Boo. It took this blog less than three months to say "nappy angle of just a little nipple."

I've talked about Ms. Morgan before. She won last year's "Campus Girls USA" challenge. I wrote:
The bottom half (bottom half. excellent) of the bracket is just ridiculous. In a semifinal, you have Morgan vs. Ashley. If this were the Final Four, this definitely would not be the game that tips off at 6 p.m.

In the junior varsity game, it'll be Natasha vs. Ebony & Ivory. Neither are in the top four, but both make the semifinals. So go the breaks.

In the championship, I go with Morgan over Ebony & Ivory.

Still, I'd pay the most money to see Halle and Morgan go at it in best-of-seven fashion. Or in no fashion at all.
Jamie Graham's picture is the biggest in the issue. And rightfully so. Where are you hiding those things? I don't know if this is being mean or whatever, but she looks amazing in her Playboy picture, if not her other pictures.

Kelsey Evans wins this competition. Cute girl, pretty face, hot picture. I can't post the nude photos on here (and Marie's side nipple picture), but Evans makes buying it worth it. It's funny. Marie is probably the best looking in real life, but looks the worst in the magazine. And by worst I mean a 9.

So what? I'm going to hell.

It's probably easier to find a Playboy there than here in central Ohio.


Anonymous said...

Transcendant work, AMG.

Anonymous said...

i am officially dumber for having read that. - cpn.

The Godfather said...

Jamie needs to get her nose fixed and quit being a Steelers fan.

/nik richie'd

Anonymous said...

Everyone needs to quit whining about Jamie Graham's nose. We're a country of whiners.

- Phil Gramm


Lobster said...

Is Kelsey sexily getting something out of the bathroom cabinet?

What a strange picture.

Lobster said...

Maybe she slipped getting off of the toilet and was just getting herslef back up when somone snapped a sultry picture of her Heffelfingerian back tat.

Either way, she looks better there than she does in the picture with Mike Dew and the two neon sparkplugs.

Anonymous said...

Jamie could stand to lose about 15 pounds.

Anonymous said...

They're all pretty "cute," and I'm a "Pac Ten" (gotta
love So. Cal.) fan..... but you're not even mentioning
the HOTTEST girl in this edition..... From Minnesota,
TOTALLY!!! She blows (no punn intended) all the
competition AWAY!!!!!