Monday, August 4, 2008

The Electrician

'Twas a wee bit of lost in translation. "It's a sports bar," The Godfather said.

I've got to admit. There was a time when we looked at the menu at Ditka's around midnight on Friday night (ET) and steaks were about $45 and I thought, "it'd be so much easier to be at The Patio right now."

This weekend's trip to Chicago got off to a great start. We made excellent time to Chicago. Less than six hours. Zero traffic in Chicago. Left at 1:56 p.m., got there around 6:45 p.m. (central time). We made one stop. Going with the trendys, the trip would have taken eight hours. They like to stop. If mistertrendy feels like he might have to piss within the next three hours, he stops. On the way home, I held a piss for four hours. trendy would have gone five times in that span.

One note about traveling with The Godfather, don't ever tell him "we're making great time" or else he'll scream at you and remind you it's bad luck. He did a great job negotiating traffic and in the end, we made great time.

Arrived at The Doctor's place and had some tostitos. Great salsa. Went over to The Godfather's friend's place in downtown. HUGE building. Nice apartment. I was lobbying hard for "dinner for two" (just The Godfather and this chick) and would rather have ate at Crust, this vegan hippie place or whatever near The Doctor's apartment. Turns out the girl was really nice and fun to talk to. So, we go to Ditka's, The Doctor meets up with us and all the menu items are like 80 bucks. Um. Sign me up for the $9.99 chicken finger dinner. We enjoy dinner and our waiter, Carlos, will be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner in Youngstown. Next, we go to a Chicago club named English. Not by the choice of me or The Doctor. It was just sorta blah, The Doctor and I talked about the upcoming Cubs game and then went home. Maybe half a thumb up for Chicago Friday night.

Everythingchanged (homage to The Doctor's CHANGESONEBOWIE poster) on Saturday morning. The Doctor's brother, Jager Bombs, shows up. It's a shock to me that the Truth's nickname is not Jager Bombs, but he usually just wants to "bomb it up" and rarely calls them Jager Bombs.

Driving home Sunday with The Godfather I commented about Jager Bombs, "he just has a face that makes you laugh."

We left The Doctor's compound (49 steps up and down to his apartment) at about 10 a.m. (CT) and as soon as we got outside, Jager Bombs says "I can't wait to start drinking." After a great breakfast at Moonshine, we did just that. Got to Wrigley and just drank. Didn't slow down until 12:42 a.m. That's when we fell asleep. I think.

I can't do a trip there justice. All's I can say is that I missed out. I'm ashamed that I waited until I was 29 to do a Cubs game. I'm sure most of the readers have experienced it, but a Saturday game at Wrigley in the summer is just like an OSU game. Bars afterward, before, chicks, making out, all that fun stuff. I also fell in love with a girl that doubles as an electrician. Like that's her job. After talking to her for about an hour, she left and I ended up making out with a chick that may be a tranny. I don't know. I just pretended she was the other girl.

Other things happened. It was just so much fucking fun. I am leaving so much shit out that I'll probably eventually get to.

Like I said, I can't do Saturday justice. It was a lot like 1980s hair metal. Loud, fast, didn't make a lot of sense ... totally fucking fun.

- From the desk of Art McGregor

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