Insomnia (not the Green Day album)

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

I likened our trip to Chicago this past weekend to hair metal. So it's not a surprise that I've started taking pills.

I fucking love Motley Crue. When I think back to random good times, I always remember the summer of 1999. I lived in a crappy one-bedroom apartment ABOVE Buckeye Books with 400 Asians. I didn't have a computer. I didn't have a cell phone. I didn't know many people sticking around in Columbus over the summer. I would walk to Hollywood Video to rent VHS tapes. I had Showtime (but not HBO). I saw "American Pie." Later I'd see "Sixth Sense" at the new EASTON. I dated a girl for half of summer that would leave me crying messages on my ANSWERING MACHINE. I worked two jobs (helping someone write a book and working at The Office of the Treasury at Ohio State). I broke up with said girl after Derek Jeter had an game-winning RBI single in extra innings over Manny Ramirez's head. I went to Columbus Crew games.

My memory of that summer is hanging out on 61 E. 12th Ave. with my buddy Misko. Misko's apartment was beyond dirty but always had the AC at about 60 degrees. It was frigid. He'd play rap and 80s metal and smoke pot. It smelled of pussy, malt liquor and weed.

On days when I didn't work (usually three days a week), we'd drive to the public pool in Worthington and lay the mack down on 17-year-old chicks. Those girls are 26 today. Wow. We'd lay out, jump off the diving board, listen to our walkmans, whatever. Never without a joint, he'd drive us to the pool all the way up High Street blasting Motley Crue's "Shout at the Devil." His favorite song was "Bastard." Mine too.

A couple of 20-year old yahoos, we'd peel into the swimming pool parking lot, windows down, blasting Motley Crue at the peek of their unpopularity. Afterward, we'd hang out at Happy Hour at Applebee's near Buckeye Village (I guess I needed a lot of Asians in my life). It's a top 5 summer of all-time.

SUMMER RANKINGS

1. 1992
2. 2004
3. 2006
4. 2002
5. 1999

I am hesitant to put 2008 on that list because of this insomnia. It's real. I can't sleep at night without alcohol or a sleep aid. Last Wednesday night, I didn't sleep. Even with pills, I am sleeping just for three or four hours over a 10-hour span. It sucks. Pretty much all I think about during the day is whether I'll be able to fall asleep at night. I don't know anything about health insurance either. I am supposed to have some card. What the fuck. This sucks.

I need some Ambien.

I get so tired at night that I can't sleep. During the day I'm pretty much fine, but nights suck. I woke up at 6:55 a.m. today. I usually wake up way later than 6:55 a.m. central time. Do the math.

I think I just need some more Happy Hours at Applebees.