Going to a bar after the wedding

By ART MCGREGOR
Blog on the Run editor

I don't mean to even include us guys in the "German Village Media family." This pretty much is for everyone I see out on a regular basis. The Vapids over at Gresso's on Friday night, the people we'll run into on Tuesday's at the High Beck, pretty much anyone who knows we call The Mayor "The Mayor."

We party wedding reception hard. Mostly every time we go out.

LEVELS OF PARTYING

1. the Truth (pre-8 p.m. jagerbomb ordering)
2. Wedding reception hard
3. Varsity Club before 8 p.m.

Again. This isn't to say, "wow, look at us! We drink a lot." We're not 18-year old high school seniors at some suburban school. It's just, we don't mess around. We're not leaving early. When we're going out, there's no doubt in anyone's mind the fun doesn't stop at least until about 2:10 a.m. While we've often got work the next morning, we never have to, "take it easy because I got work in the morning."

I went to a wedding this weekend in Virginia. My buddy got married. It was a small wedding. We got there at six and the open bar closed at 8 p.m. Fuck the Tour de France, we went on a sprint. Practically the Tour de Beers. All stages in that two-hour span involved triple-fisting Miller Lites and not winning any prizes. No one won a yellow jersey or a Harley Davidson T-shirt.

My eight good buddies from high school all were in attendance. Counting mister and missestrendy, five now are married. My muddy Sully isn't, my buddy Rod Munch just wins Emmys (four to date) and I hate marriage. I hate marriage because of the following non-sense:

It's a wedding. It's a reception. If I'm fucking driving 15 hours (not that I drove), I want to have fun. I want to stay out late and be stupid with my friends. We're all 29-fucking-years-old. We're not 45. How about growing a set and staying out later than 1 a.m.? Really, friends? I don't know. I just don't get it. Fucking tired? Really?

I had a nice time at the wedding. My one buddy has a kid now and she's super cute. But it's like, why can't we stay up bullshitting and laughing? Send the wives to bed. Seriously, go to bed. We'll catch up later. I just don't get it. We drive 15 hours and mostly everyone goes to bed/sleep at 1 a.m.? What happened to grabbing a couple cases and heading to someone's hotel room and laughing? What happened? You'd rather go to bed at 1 a.m.? Man.

All's I know is this ... my sister's wedding will be nothing of the sorts. It honestly has the potential to break most-drinks-drank-at-a-wedding record. That's just counting my dad and his friends. If anyone bails out before 2:30 a.m., you will get made fun of by me for the rest of my life.

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does. Weddings are apparently joyous occasions and a lot of work goes into it. You have to travel, buy a gift, sit around people you may not want to sit around, drive back, open a thank you card, all that shit.

Stop being lame. Stop bringing the wives to the after-hours fun. I mean, really.

I get a lot of heat for not wanting to "grow up," and what not. Fuck that. I like to think of it more as a decision to want to keep having fun.

So with marriage you get to go home early a lot, take other people's feelings into consideration, miss out on fun times ... because I know it's always really boring when you're up drinking with guys you've known since 1993.

Sign me up for that shit!